Livin' the Dream

Living the Dream

In true American style, Ted Williams was living in a cardboard box last week. Now he's a media sensation and well on his way to making some serious cash.

Toni:

I know it's corny, but after 20 years in the US, the "can-do" attitude still amazes me. From a skinny, inexperienced African American guy making it to the White House, to a down and out ex-con being spotted by the side of the road, it shows that anything is possible here. There are no barriers to success.

Unlike the Rolling Stones, who sang "You can’t always get what you want", Americans prefer to sing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow". Barak Obama's presidential slogan was "Yes we can", which was a bold move for one so young and inexperienced. But it paid off.

Some might say that this approach to life can lead to disappointment, but wouldn't you rather go to your grave having tried something, than full of regret at not having had the nerve?

I remember a girls' weekend in Boston many years ago. We had tickets for a Sunday morning Duck Tour (an amphibious vehicle which drives around the streets then plunges into the Charles River for a bit of a cruise). As usual, we were running late and had been warned against that by the Duck people. As we neared the departure point, we were a good ten to fifteen minutes tardy so the English contingent gave up and started walking slowly. "We've missed it. Let's not bother. We'll do something else".

"No, no," said the Americans, "Keep running. You never know".

So the Brits started running half-heartedly, readying their "Told you so" faces. We rounded the corner to find the Duck vehicle not only still in the parking lot, but the tour guide waiting for us and encouraging us to run as fast as we could. I learned something that day.

Some say the belief that anyone can do anything is self-deceptive, and I agree that there must be a dab of realism in there. But when does realism become pessimism? When does the glass become half empty as opposed to half full?

Mike:

I may be the American in this duo, but I have to take the British side on this one. Certainly good things do happen to people. Some people. On the other hand, some people get struck by lightning, but that doesn’t mean something like this is in store for the general population. And you don’t have to look very hard to conclude that there is a fair amount of Sod’s Law at work in the universe.

Sod’s Law, as you may know, is not the same as Murphy’s Law. Can anyone explain the difference? “(Oh, me, sir! Can I, sir?”)

Murphy’s Law is an engineering principle that reasons, if you build a system that has a fault in it that, if exploited, will have adverse effects, then you must assume someone will exploit that flaw. It’s an exhortation to build systems intelligently, whereas Sod’s Law is more like rain at a picnic. It’s much more pessimistic in its outlook, and therefore more suited to the British mentality.

Even when I lived in America, I wavered between being a cautious optimist and a realist, which I take to mean, expect the worst, and if it doesn’t happen, then you’ll be pleasantly surprised. This may sound strange coming from me after my previous post advocating optimism. The truth is, I do like to believe good things will happen; it’s just real life teaches us that they rarely do.

What I think makes the Americans different isn’t that they succeed more often, as I do not believe they do, but that, despite failure after failure after failure, they never stop believing they can and will succeed. Perhaps there is a lot we all can learn from that attitude.

And, by the way, Obama ripped off, “Yes we can!” from Bob the Builder.

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Shiny, Happy People

Following on from last week’s comparison, this week we ask “Who’s the happiest, Americans or Brits?”


Toni:

You know a country’s setting itself a goal when its Declaration of Rights declares “the pursuit of happiness” as an unalienable right. Looking around however I see that many Americans are doing a fine job in upholding their Declaration.

A 2006 Pew Research Center report had a staggering 84% of Americans claiming to be either “pretty happy” or “very happy”. Heck, there’s even the American Happiness Association, which encourages people to “Take Charge of Your Own Happiness”. They organize conferences, have regional meetings and even sell e-books such as “How to be Positively Happy in Today’s Negative World” – “describing in 37 pages what to do to transform your daily activities into happier ones that you enjoy more.”

I did the same search for the UK and found one similar poll – the Great British Happiness Survey (August 2009), which revealed that about 88% percent of Brits were less happy than when the recession started! There are a few other British surveys which identify the happiest and most miserable places in the UK but the results were so controversial they seem to have just pissed everyone off.

Even the answer to “How are you?” elicits different responses on either side of the Pond. Americans answer with an exuberant “Great” at the very least, while Brits prefer a modest “Oh, can’t complain”, or “Not too bad thanks”. Last year, in a debate with Mike on BBC Radio’s Five Live show, I described living over here as “living with three hundred and fifty million Labrador puppies”. Absolutely exhausting, but who doesn’t love a Labrador puppy? For a Brit however, it can be a bit frustrating when you’re never allowed to have a good moan.

- Just backed the car out of the garage into your neighbor(u)r’s wall? Thank goodness you didn’t have a car full of kids.

- Locked yourself out and no one’s due home for another two hours? Yes, but what a lovely sunny day to do it. It could have been raining.

- Suffering from the world’s worst hangover? You must have had a great time last night.

I know, I know, it’s probably better to have the glass half full, but sometimes I just want to shout “YES, BUT I’M REALLY PISSED OFF!”


Mike:

I think Toni touched on the heart of the matter: it’s not so much about happiness, it’s a matter of outlook. Americans are very “glass half full” and their optimism is, to be polite, infectious. Other people (not me) might call it nauseating.

It’s as Bill Bryson (another professional expat, a bit funny, like me) pointed out: If you tell an American that a meteor is going to strike the earth and end human life in six weeks time, he’ll say, “Gosh, I’d better sign up for that woodworking class then.” But if you tell a Brit the same thing, he’ll say, “Wouldn’t you just know it; and have you seen the weather forecast for this weekend?”

But the Brits are happy in their misery. “Mustn’t Grumble” is their unofficial national motto. If “Having a Moan” was an Olympic sport, no other country could touch them. And they revel in their gloominess; it defines them. Take it away and they would be really unhappy.

Don’t believe me? Consider this:

1941. Their homeland besieged by a superior enemy. Invasion imminent. Their cities bombed, their food running low, their supplies laughably inadequate and the Americans still dithering across the pond about whether to help them out or not. They were alone, with no hope and no help. And what do they call it? The dark days of the forties? The Terrible Time? No, it’s Their Finest Hour! For once, nothing could get worse, and they were ecstatic.

Then they won the war and everything has been going downhill ever since.

So the Brits are actually very happy people. They’re just happy in a different way.


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