Livin' the Dream

Living the Dream

In true American style, Ted Williams was living in a cardboard box last week. Now he's a media sensation and well on his way to making some serious cash.

Toni:

I know it's corny, but after 20 years in the US, the "can-do" attitude still amazes me. From a skinny, inexperienced African American guy making it to the White House, to a down and out ex-con being spotted by the side of the road, it shows that anything is possible here. There are no barriers to success.

Unlike the Rolling Stones, who sang "You can’t always get what you want", Americans prefer to sing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow". Barak Obama's presidential slogan was "Yes we can", which was a bold move for one so young and inexperienced. But it paid off.

Some might say that this approach to life can lead to disappointment, but wouldn't you rather go to your grave having tried something, than full of regret at not having had the nerve?

I remember a girls' weekend in Boston many years ago. We had tickets for a Sunday morning Duck Tour (an amphibious vehicle which drives around the streets then plunges into the Charles River for a bit of a cruise). As usual, we were running late and had been warned against that by the Duck people. As we neared the departure point, we were a good ten to fifteen minutes tardy so the English contingent gave up and started walking slowly. "We've missed it. Let's not bother. We'll do something else".

"No, no," said the Americans, "Keep running. You never know".

So the Brits started running half-heartedly, readying their "Told you so" faces. We rounded the corner to find the Duck vehicle not only still in the parking lot, but the tour guide waiting for us and encouraging us to run as fast as we could. I learned something that day.

Some say the belief that anyone can do anything is self-deceptive, and I agree that there must be a dab of realism in there. But when does realism become pessimism? When does the glass become half empty as opposed to half full?

Mike:

I may be the American in this duo, but I have to take the British side on this one. Certainly good things do happen to people. Some people. On the other hand, some people get struck by lightning, but that doesn’t mean something like this is in store for the general population. And you don’t have to look very hard to conclude that there is a fair amount of Sod’s Law at work in the universe.

Sod’s Law, as you may know, is not the same as Murphy’s Law. Can anyone explain the difference? “(Oh, me, sir! Can I, sir?”)

Murphy’s Law is an engineering principle that reasons, if you build a system that has a fault in it that, if exploited, will have adverse effects, then you must assume someone will exploit that flaw. It’s an exhortation to build systems intelligently, whereas Sod’s Law is more like rain at a picnic. It’s much more pessimistic in its outlook, and therefore more suited to the British mentality.

Even when I lived in America, I wavered between being a cautious optimist and a realist, which I take to mean, expect the worst, and if it doesn’t happen, then you’ll be pleasantly surprised. This may sound strange coming from me after my previous post advocating optimism. The truth is, I do like to believe good things will happen; it’s just real life teaches us that they rarely do.

What I think makes the Americans different isn’t that they succeed more often, as I do not believe they do, but that, despite failure after failure after failure, they never stop believing they can and will succeed. Perhaps there is a lot we all can learn from that attitude.

And, by the way, Obama ripped off, “Yes we can!” from Bob the Builder.

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Living the Dream

We hear a lot about The American Dream, but is there a British Dream?

Toni:

Here in the US, the American dream is a common phrase, and defined by Webster's dictionary as "an American social ideal that stresses egalitarianism and especially material prosperity; also: the prosperity or life that is the realization of this ideal".

I'd say there's a lot of it in the UK, too, whether or not is has a name. You know, eyeing up the neighbour's new car, mortgaging yourself up to the hilt to get the bigger house, buying the kids designer duds 'cause all their friends have them. Material possessions mean so much to some people that they'll actually take on far too much debt to get the goods. "All fur coat and no knickers" as my gran used to say, lips pursed and hands clasped firmly on her handbag. Of course, very few Brits actually admit that's what they're doing, even though they're desperate to show off their "stuff".

Over in the States it's more like a kindergarten show and tell. Big houses, big cars (still), earning them a pat on the back from friends and neighbors. None of that "Who do they think they are?" cynicism. The further up the social ladder Americans can haul themselves, the more you'll hear about it. The millionaire who's the son of a truck driver, the music executive who once lived on the streets - they love all that.

Part of the need for material wealth and possessions is that the ancestors of many Americans came to this country literally with the clothes on their back. Financial security became the number one priority for them and this was instilled into future generations. Look at the millions of students who will take on huge debt to get themselves through college thus educating themselves further up the social ladder and usually ensuring financial security.

Much as I hate to use Simon Cowell as a source, this alleged quote is quite apt, I think:

“If you would have asked me what I thought of America before I came over here I would have used the word `corny`. And then you come over here and you find that it`s not corny at all. British people are very cynical, they cannot bear someone else`s success. Americans embrace other people`s success. Everything in America is larger than life.”


Mike:

Is there a "British Dream"? If you go by strict definition, no. The American Dream is well documented. We talk about, write about it, analyse it, debate it, wonder why our kids don't take it as seriously as we think they ought to, agonize that the immigrates are taking it over. So, yeah, the American Dream is real.

In my own family, my great-grandfather left his native country (England, ironically enough) to find a better life in America. (Or, he was deported, depending on the version of our family history you subscribe to.) At any rate, he was a laborer in Lancashire and, after arriving in America, started a catering business and eventually opened a hotel, thereby ensuring that my children would grow up believing that a three-course dinner consists of a Big Mac, large fries and a hot apple pie. One could say, he achieved the American Dream, and I'm sure he would have gladly admitted to it.

But take my limited experience is Britain. My own family, the recent immigrants as well as those with longer lineages (Britain, like America, is a mongrel nation; they are just loath to admit it), all worked hard to improve their lot and provide a better future for their children. One could argue this is The Dream, it just doesn't have a name. Nor would they, as good Britons, give it one. Proclaiming your rising status and intentions to rise higher would be vulgar and arrogant and, frankly, something you might expect from an American.

But to an American, it is not arrogant; it is confidence, and a belief in an ideal handed down by our forefathers.

In my view, Americans strive for The Dream, feel confident that they will achieve it, become insecure when they do because then they want more and worry that their children won't have the opportunities they had, especially with house prices the way they are, and have you seen how the interest rates are going up, and those (pick a nationality) have moved in next door and that's going to wreak havoc on the local housing market, while the Brits just get on with it.

So is there a British Dream? I believe so; the British just don't bang on about it.


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