Sunday, September 25, 2011

The Unofficial US Citizenship Test

Spring-boarding off a great post from expat-Kiwi-in-the-UK, Vegemite Vix (here) whereby she came up with an Unofficial UK Citizenship Test, we thought we'd try our hand at the US version.

Unofficial US Citizenship Test

Q - When driving, what does an orange/amber light signify?

- Put your foot down and floor it before the light changes to red.
- Even though you’re almost through the junction, you should apply the brakes, and hope that all passengers are wearing seatbelts and that the driver behind you is paying attention
- You don’t know, you never took the test and you’re driving without insurance as we speak

Q - Riding a bicycle allows you to –

- Ride the wrong way down all one way streets
- Spit on the car of anyone who expects you to follow the rules of the road
- Ignore all STOP signs
- All of the above

a     Q - With regard to everyday rules, they are –

- Made to be broken (Hey - this is America)
- Only applicable if you can understand the reasoning behind them
- Only for other people (who should follow them to the letter)

        Q - The final line in the National Anthem is -

      - ...And the home of the brave.
      - Play Ball!
      - Depends if you are holding a chilli dog in one hand and a beer in the other
-  All of the above.

Q - After eating a dozen Krispy Kreme donuts you should feel:
- a huge sugar rush
- slightly nauseous
- embarrassed
- the urge for a Big Gulp or a large coffee with extra sugar

Q - The South includes:
- all states below the Mason-Dixon line
- states where it doesn't snow
- Texas
- Wherever you hear someone say "y'all"

Q - It is legal to kill an intruder only when:
 He presents an immediate danger to you or your family
- He is armed
- You've had a bad day and this is just one more thing you don't need
- You have a "drop piece"* you can put in his hand after you shoot him

* drop piece - a gun that you plant on someone after they've been shot, to "justify" the killing

Q - How much alcohol are you allowed while driving in your state?
- You can hold your alcohol and have never had a problem behind the wheel so that question is irrelevant
- It depends where you are and what the chances of being pulled over are
- They never pull you over so what’s the point of worrying
- You never really think about it/Everybody does it man! 

Q - Countries outside of the USA are:
- dangerous
- invasion fodder
- irrelevant
- all of the above

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