Lunching with Americans

Recently, Mike and a few other Americans met  up for lunch in beautiful Saffron Walden. Here's his hilarious take on things:

Recently, I had the opportunity to meet up with a group of expat bloggers in the charming town of Saffron Walden. Mid-Atlantic English, Nappy Valley Housewife, Not From Around Here and 3-Bedroom Bungalow gathered at the Ask restaurant—along with my wife and myself—for drinks, pasta, pizza, calzone and some lively conversation.

As the UK correspondent for Pond Parleys, I had gone with the intention of asking them individually for interviews but then, somewhere around my third glass of Peroni, the idea of a mass, simultaneous interview occurred to me,

This is vaguely how it went:



Do you like living here?

(A chorus of voices, all enthusiastically in the affirmative.)

It’s great that I’m here because I choose to be here, and if I didn’t really want to be here I would go back to the US.

I love the culture and the history.

I miss Cheez-Its!

That’s how we met; I’m her Cheez-Its connection. We get American food on the base.

Yes, Kat’s my supplier. I’ve also had other bloggers in the US send me American crackers by mail, twice.

I miss the proximity of family.

Customer service!

(Another chorus of agreement)

I don’t really think about it until I go back to the States, but then I realize how bad it is here.

I do like living here, but “Have a nice day,” I miss that.

Mike had his friend bring him A1 Sauce when he came for a visit a few years ago.

I asked him to bring a bottle, but he brought over a six pack. I still have a bottle left, but it’s past the sell by date.

So is the Corn meal.

I know where to get corn meal now, but that’s what I would have people bring over for me if I couldn’t get it.

What I can’t get here is Chick-fil-A! I always have my mom bring me one when she picks me up at the airport.

We have a Subway in town, and I actually like it better than the American version.

They have sweet corn!

What I’d really like is a Wendy’s

My husband would sell one of our children for a Wendy Burger.

I miss the clean streets.

Yes, it’s really cluttered here.

After a Saturday night the whole town is littered.

In Minnesota we have the Adopt a highway Programme, which keeps the streets clean.

When I first came here I was shocked by the amount of litter at the sides of the roads.

And in the parks. Especially after a sunny picnic-type day.

I was brought up to have some sort of civic pride; we don’t litter the way they do here.

The Americans do seem to be a bit cleaner.

And they break windows less frequently.

They're also more modest; the way the young girls dress here!

My 20year old son was scandalized at the way the young people dressed when he came to visit. He wasn’t used to girls-

…having so much exposed? And they don’t mind the weather, I remember waiting for a bus in the winter, all bundled up, cold as could be and seeing young girls walking by wearing nothing but halter tops and skirts that were-

…about as wide as a belt?

Yes.

And, oddly, it’s only here. In the other European countries I travel to, the young girls don’t dress like prostitutes.

We have a friend who’s a lorry driver-

“Lorry?” Have you found yourself speaking British already?

Sometimes I say a word the British way just so I can get on with it and not have to stop and explain myself to people.

I would do that, but I think it might sound funny if I tried to say it as the British do, so I’ll say A-LUM-in-um and then say, yes I know I said that as an American.

I still speak American but my kids speak British—Mummy, can we have a ta-MAH-to sandwich. I say, Yeah, here’s your tom-A-to.

I still write in American, especially on my blog.

It’s an American blog, after all.

How long have you been at it?

Only a few months.

Two years, for me.

About a year.

Three years.

Fifteen years.

Really?

Yeah, I’m a dinosaur. It’s changed a lot since I started out.

I think being part of the blogging community has been amazing. It’s one of the only markets I can think of where you find success by helping others. I think that’s great.