Sunday, September 25, 2011

The Unofficial US Citizenship Test

Spring-boarding off a great post from expat-Kiwi-in-the-UK, Vegemite Vix (here) whereby she came up with an Unofficial UK Citizenship Test, we thought we'd try our hand at the US version.


Unofficial US Citizenship Test

Q - When driving, what does an orange/amber light signify?

- Put your foot down and floor it before the light changes to red.
- Even though you’re almost through the junction, you should apply the brakes, and hope that all passengers are wearing seatbelts and that the driver behind you is paying attention
- You don’t know, you never took the test and you’re driving without insurance as we speak

Q - Riding a bicycle allows you to –

- Ride the wrong way down all one way streets
- Spit on the car of anyone who expects you to follow the rules of the road
- Ignore all STOP signs
- All of the above

a     Q - With regard to everyday rules, they are –

- Made to be broken (Hey - this is America)
- Only applicable if you can understand the reasoning behind them
- Only for other people (who should follow them to the letter)

        Q - The final line in the National Anthem is -

      - ...And the home of the brave.
      - Play Ball!
      - Depends if you are holding a chilli dog in one hand and a beer in the other
-  All of the above.

Q - After eating a dozen Krispy Kreme donuts you should feel:
- a huge sugar rush
- slightly nauseous
- embarrassed
- the urge for a Big Gulp or a large coffee with extra sugar

Q - The South includes:
- all states below the Mason-Dixon line
- states where it doesn't snow
- Texas
- Wherever you hear someone say "y'all"

Q - It is legal to kill an intruder only when:
 He presents an immediate danger to you or your family
- He is armed
- You've had a bad day and this is just one more thing you don't need
- You have a "drop piece"* you can put in his hand after you shoot him

* drop piece - a gun that you plant on someone after they've been shot, to "justify" the killing

Q - How much alcohol are you allowed while driving in your state?
- You can hold your alcohol and have never had a problem behind the wheel so that question is irrelevant
- It depends where you are and what the chances of being pulled over are
- They never pull you over so what’s the point of worrying
- You never really think about it/Everybody does it man! 

Q - Countries outside of the USA are:
- dangerous
- invasion fodder
- irrelevant
- all of the above



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3 comments:

  1. Excellent! Though I'm somewhat embarrassed to admit that I'm not entirely certain what the correct answers are! LOL.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh dear, unlike Vix, I suspect I know exactly what the answers are. There's a strong current of British humour here--either from Toni's genetics or Mike's immersion... LOL! Very funny guys!

    And now I'm craving a chili dog and a beer, thanks for that ;)

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  3. Too funny. And, yes I know the correct answer to all of them. :D "Play Ball!"

    Must say tho: British bicycle riders are "-All of the above" and more.

    I've had them punch my car on the way past as they shoot across mini-roundabouts. Turn in my side mirror while they lean on my door at a zebra crossing. And worst of all: Hog the center of the road, going up hill, at 2mph because they are too arrogant to get off and push.

    Being American, I, of course, want to run them over. Mwaaahaha... Hubby says it would be rude and socially unacceptable, since they are being "green."

    Hubby, being British, is Pro-Green. I, being American, am Pro-Consumer. It's a fun life.

    Love the blog!

    Cheers!

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