tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13742696440934769752024-02-21T03:04:01.058+00:00Pond ParleysPond Parleyshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03127142379706540812noreply@blogger.comBlogger171125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1374269644093476975.post-61700674215627684052012-01-07T13:25:00.000+00:002012-06-18T09:15:50.194+01:00Draining the Pond<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; mso-outline-level: 1;">
<span style="line-height: 150%;">Oh, hell-o.</span><span style="line-height: 150%;"> </span><span style="line-height: 150%;">Yes, you caught us.</span><span style="line-height: 150%;"> </span><span style="line-height: 150%;">We were just taking down the bunting, folding up the chairs and putting the tables away.</span><span style="line-height: 150%;"> </span><span style="line-height: 150%;">The tea and coffee-making area also needs a wash-down, so if you want to lend a hand, don’t be shy. </span><span style="line-height: 150%;"> </span><span style="line-height: 150%;">There’s a plate of cookies/biscuits on the counter; they may be a bit stale, but help yourself.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">No, we were not planning to sneak away without telling you. We just wanted to clean up a bit before inviting you to come by so we could say our farewells and you could take us to the pub for a celebratory drink. You were planning to buy us a drink, weren’t you? I mean, it is kinda traditional, and this is an occasion of sorts, and, uh, well, we just assumed…okay, we’ll buy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">(At the pub, somewhere between the first drink and the “I love you, man!” stage)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">Who could have guessed that a long-distance collaboration would last for three whole years! I think that’s some kind of record.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">We started Pond Parleys after our National Radio debut in January 2009 with the intention of pro-actively leveraging our 15-minute of fame into a performance-based marketing initiative with the mission objective of monetizing our deliverables because that is the sort of pseudo-business bollocks people spoke back then, but that was never the real reason (good thing, too, because it was never the actual result); we just wanted to have fun.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">And we did.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">We covered topics ranging from gun control, patriotism and government corruption to discussions on accents and the proper way to make a sandwich. And along the way we had a <a href="http://pondparleys.blogspot.com/2009/11/whats-thanksgiving-like-for-american-in.html" target="_blank">bunfight over a green bean casserole</a>, of all things. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">But fun as it was, all things must end and we wanted to go before we heard the embarrassed shuffling of feet and the impatient jingle of car keys. Like MASH and Cheers (and unlike Happy Days and the Rocky Movies) we thought we’d go while the going was still good, and before we were pushed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">Don’t be sad; we’re only closing Pond Parleys, we’re not going to disappear. Toni is still blogging at <a href="http://expatmum.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Expat Mum</a> and Mike is still posting his perennial <a href="http://postcardsfromacrossthepond.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Postcards From Across the Pond</a> (now celebrating its 10-year anniversary—that’s like 187 in blog-years). Come and visit us there; don’t be a stranger. I love you, man!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">We'll leave you now with this final message:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>MikeHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01530099708429116393noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1374269644093476975.post-12945187099663515562011-12-27T07:01:00.000+00:002011-12-27T07:01:26.461+00:00Happy New Year<div style="text-align: center;"> </div><div style="text-align: center;">Have a safe, happy, healthy and prosperous 2012!</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhX2nXgE9bzSI-fVjye2Pko-_lufrBi9VqasnNpXBtlCmIKoCMqm5whDXpObZclvXPYSPjI-hu1M3ZbHj3tjJ5aYsquttXIB05WfG98ysVyo5lNEVfZCizNKTN2rMS794MmEDSahlPHrIte/s1600/happy-new-years-2012.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="285" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhX2nXgE9bzSI-fVjye2Pko-_lufrBi9VqasnNpXBtlCmIKoCMqm5whDXpObZclvXPYSPjI-hu1M3ZbHj3tjJ5aYsquttXIB05WfG98ysVyo5lNEVfZCizNKTN2rMS794MmEDSahlPHrIte/s320/happy-new-years-2012.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>MikeHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01530099708429116393noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1374269644093476975.post-19442150356832970332011-12-18T14:08:00.000+00:002011-12-18T14:08:22.922+00:00Happy HolidaysWe wish you all a Merry Christmas<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV8VMVApORLtfo36AEBTZjo0EtWkFQcRMkLhaUtODVdjT1I1H8CJRmGcytlKjeDjHjVux-3qMRS7FzGRZ8hiZhUThYfoQOMVZ6XZ_2d0CcqSIRJyJmvPW9X1GSySmjc13EbyhDDmFePHF0/s1600/xmas01a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV8VMVApORLtfo36AEBTZjo0EtWkFQcRMkLhaUtODVdjT1I1H8CJRmGcytlKjeDjHjVux-3qMRS7FzGRZ8hiZhUThYfoQOMVZ6XZ_2d0CcqSIRJyJmvPW9X1GSySmjc13EbyhDDmFePHF0/s320/xmas01a.jpg" width="316" /></a></div><br />
or a Happy Hanukkah<br />
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May your Holidays be blessed.MikeHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01530099708429116393noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1374269644093476975.post-26370030875290455072011-12-11T23:32:00.000+00:002011-12-11T23:32:02.452+00:00Repatriation - An American's Story<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:DocumentProperties> <o:Revision>0</o:Revision> <o:TotalTime>0</o:TotalTime> <o:Pages>1</o:Pages> <o:Words>755</o:Words> <o:Characters>4307</o:Characters> <o:Company>self</o:Company> <o:Lines>35</o:Lines> <o:Paragraphs>10</o:Paragraphs> <o:CharactersWithSpaces>5052</o:CharactersWithSpaces> <o:Version>14.0</o:Version> </o:DocumentProperties> <o:OfficeDocumentSettings> <o:AllowPNG/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--> <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>JA</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/> <w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/> <w:OverrideTableStyleHps/> </w:Compatibility> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<div class="MsoNormal"><i>This week, we welcome our friend, brand new author, blogger and repatriated American, <a href="http://www.ladywholunches.net/Home.html">Meagan Adele Lopez </a>as a guest blogger. Meagan is an American who returned to the States last year after living in the United Kingdom. Everyone tells you repatriation isn't as easy as you'd imagine; here's Meagan's story.</i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I’ve been back in the United States for a year and three months now, and I’m about 4 months away from the length of time that I lived in the UK. I can’t believe I’ve been back that long. Toni asked me to write a guest blog over a year ago, and I’m finally getting to it after the job searching, the book publishing, and the apartment hunting. But I’m back, and more settled than ever.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I have to say, the difference between my first year in the UK and the first year back in America is that time has flown since I’ve been back. My first year in the UK felt like a LONG, LONG year. My boyfriend and I had most of the same issues that we have here - looking for a job, etc., but I remember thinking in England - man, time really idles by. Here, not so much. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Do you experience time pass by at a slower pace while living abroad? Or is that just me?<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I put it down to awareness. In another country, every moment is a learning experience, and everyday there is the possibility that something new and exciting will happen. You hear a new word; you turn the corner and discover a previously unknown bakery; or you meet a stranger who wants to talk to you simply because you “have an accent.” Every moment is cherished and different. When you’re in your own country, you are the same as everyone else - getting by, trying to make ends meet, or furiously rushing to succeed, be with family members, and somehow, still, to sleep at least 6 hours a night.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">In an ideal world, one would feel alive and in the moment no matter where they lived, and time would, well, take its time. But, unfortunately, you get into a routine and time doesn’t necessarily fly when you’re having fun. No, in my opinion, time flies when you’re comfortable, and follow a schedule. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Toni wanted me to write about how it was to return to America after living abroad for nearly two years. Have I felt reverse culture shock? Do I miss England? Am I a changed woman?<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">To be honest, I was ready to come home. Unlike when I lived in Paris in 2004, came back to the United States, and fell into a deep, dark depression from missing France, coming back from England last year was fairly easy. In Paris, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">everything</i> was different from America. In Paris, I was the eccentric, sought-after butterfly that no one could catch, but everyone wanted. In Paris, I spoke another language, met new friends, was completely on my own without knowing anyone, and truly immersed myself in the culture. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">In England, it almost wasn’t different <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">enough</i> - yes there were the colloquialisms, the quaint, old towns, the history, and the millions of other differences that are just slightly confusing to the American who thinks the English and the American is cut from the same cloth. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">However, it was just similar enough that I felt slightly off-kilter and disoriented, but not unfamiliar enough to deeply change me. I certainly wasn’t sought after, but mostly made fun of (as the English do in the most loving way possible), and I went there while in a relationship so I already had a built-in network of people. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I enjoy all the eccentricities that make England what it is, and always look forward to going back. Nevertheless, and perhaps part of it is because I am slightly older than when I was in Paris, there was nothing about England that rocked my core, or shook my foundation enough to warrant a reverse culture shock. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Perhaps I’m too much of an idealistic, American to fully embrace the witty, realistic and ironic view of the English. Perhaps I am now too set in my ways. I still have a slight mid-Atlantic accent, and say “a bit” and I can’t be “arsed” (well, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">now</i> I say “arsed” since Toni corrected me a few weeks back. I always thought they were saying “asked” but just in their funny accent!), and I know I will move back one day. But, I have to thank England for making me realize how much I actually love America. I never thought I would say that - honestly. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I was embarrassed to be American before, but maybe I finally realized that there’s another country out there just as deliciously flawed as the one I come from, but whose people don’t apologize for it. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">So yeah, I suppose that’s what I learned while living abroad. England gave me a backbone, a realization that they may make fun of us, and we may always be the rugged, bastardized children of their defeat, but we are the far superior country when it comes down to it. (Ha! Just kidding…but no, not really…OK yes, I’m kidding.)<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Here’s to making time slow down whilst in America!<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">--------------------</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqlpa0-pbYGValmtGEVbeSRjQzcp55MNWCHMScHGfnqdAUXLYU0p17NPHjJ6j98bda-__ByCTEdYnokbEakpCUUrgcpNKhDg1lzpcrjsf6HESoMQeKKK5-FX8LzyregSwVZTPKgPJ1b8o/s1600/3+questions.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqlpa0-pbYGValmtGEVbeSRjQzcp55MNWCHMScHGfnqdAUXLYU0p17NPHjJ6j98bda-__ByCTEdYnokbEakpCUUrgcpNKhDg1lzpcrjsf6HESoMQeKKK5-FX8LzyregSwVZTPKgPJ1b8o/s320/3+questions.png" width="214" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><i>Meagan was an expat in England for nearly two years. Since her return to the US, she has finished her first novel, “Three Questions”.(Toni has just read it and highly recommends it.) Lopez is also in the midst of running a </i><a href="http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/meaganadele/meagan-adele-lopez-debut-novel-three-questions"><i>nerve-wracking Kickstarter campaign</i></a><i> to help sell the novel into a screenplay. She would love your contributions! You will get some great rewards, and be a part of a very cool project. </i></div><!--EndFragment-->Expat mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17798190669591053390noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1374269644093476975.post-31337734199030905652011-12-05T01:12:00.000+00:002011-12-05T01:12:40.083+00:00Christmas Shopping<i>If you celebrate Christmas, there's no getting away from the need to buy or make gifts.</i><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB"><b><u>Toni:</u></b><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB"><b><u><br />
</u></b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">The good thing about having a Thanksgiving holiday it that it acts as a sort of buffer against early Christmas hysteria. The downside is that people start putting the decorations up as soon as the Thanksgiving turkey is digested, even though it’s still often November. There should be a law against that.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">Since all my family is in England, I am forced to focus on gifts before the tans have faded from everyone else's summer holiday. The mailing deadline is some time in early December, and back when you could send stuff “surface” (ie. not air mail) the deadline was some time in October. Having sorted the UK presents out, I typically sit back and forget about everyone else until, like now, it becomes a bit of a stressor.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">I used to be the online shopping Queen, but with the shipping and handling coming in at $5-10 extra per gift this year, it looks like I’ll just have to brave the madding crowds and actually venture into a couple of shops. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">Problem is see, I don’t live in the burbs where there are mega-malls every couple of miles; my nearest shopping destination is the famed Michigan Avenue in Chicago. (Think Regents Street on its busiest day, with tourists wandering round gazing up instead of looking where they’re going and you’ll get the picture.) There is no "quiet time" since tourists stay at the downtown hotels, chomping at the bit to get out there and shop as soon as the revolving doors open. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">Oh dear, oh dear. I must conjure up the motivation from somewhere.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB"><o:p> </o:p></span>Mike:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">Our Christmas shopping is all but done.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The little bit I have to do I’ll probably finish this coming week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But then, Christmas shopping for us involves mostly walking into town to peruse the Christmas market stalls, wander through the mall and visit the shops on the high street.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In addition to that, the majority of our gifts this year we made ourselves.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mostly that is down to my wife; she not only made all the cards herself (and addressed them because my handwriting is illegible) but has been knitting and patchworking like an artsy-crafty demon since October to come up with some unique and appropriate gifts for most of her friends and family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(All I did was publish a book that everyone in my family is, goddammit, getting as a gift whether they like it or not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And you can see how close my family is by knowing that they haven’t already gone out and bought multiple copies themselves.)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">But that’s just us, because of where we are now; we’re all about being Green and returning Christmas to the season of giving, not receiving.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m sure we’ll just piss everyone off, but that’s just part of the Christmas spirit.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">I say all that knowing, even for Britain, we are an anomaly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not many people have a town centre just a few minutes walk away with such an abundance of shopping opportunities.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Also, it is not to say that I didn’t enjoy Christmas shopping American-style when I lived there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Going to the mall, jockeying for a parking space, fighting the crowds, spending inordinate amounts of money—that was what made Christmas Christmas in my view.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">That time has passed, however, and now I’m happy to pick up gifts locally when I can, make my own when appropriate and judge the success of the season, not by the amount of money I have spent, or how many of the items I ticked off of the “I want this for Christmas” lists sent to me by my sons.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">And if my wife has to put up with my home-made cards every year, well, that’s the price she pays for scaling Christmas down and trying to return it to the pure and joyous occasion it was meant to be:<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKpZ7apd6xAJeuiY9KKXZH7ZcUgBm3VXFjp0Jut6WmXImbDJ8V4HXgUG5pOQqFrEVQc_KMJX9lM52DovbLeswyUGvSvNoCnOCf8KX4uc4RNEzzsy3WGdLGZn7-IB67Oa1-A1PwetMvUoE/s1600/christmascard.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKpZ7apd6xAJeuiY9KKXZH7ZcUgBm3VXFjp0Jut6WmXImbDJ8V4HXgUG5pOQqFrEVQc_KMJX9lM52DovbLeswyUGvSvNoCnOCf8KX4uc4RNEzzsy3WGdLGZn7-IB67Oa1-A1PwetMvUoE/s320/christmascard.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-style: italic; line-height: 150%;"><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">Our friend <a href="http://www.theamericanresident.com/">The American Resident </a>has a new gig as a columnist for the Expat Focus web site. She is <a href="http://www.expatfocus.com/michelle-garrett-231111">currently talking about </a>being the only American in the village, and it got us thinking….<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-GB">Mike:<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-GB"><br />
</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">The problem with being an American in Britain these days is that you can’t swing a bowler hat without hitting one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are pretty much everywhere.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And that’s just Americans; throw in residents from the sub-continent, various other former dominions and much of the former Soviet Union and you’ll find—especially in the cities and larger towns—that almost everyone appears to be from somewhere else.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(But that’s okay—take a trip to southern Spain and you’ll find towns filled with British expats.)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">Being a foreigner does not hold the allure it used to, but if you’re going to be a foreigner here—in most cases—being an American is the way to go.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m not sure why, but my being from America is more remarked upon than, say, the young woman at the coffee shop being from Latvia, is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Perhaps it’s because of our “special” relationship (I’m not taking the piss here, there really is a strong and unique bond between Yanks and Brits) or the fact that my being from somewhere else isn’t immediately obvious.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It generally takes a few minute of conversation before someone I am meeting for the first time will enquire as to where I am originally from.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">So being an American, even in an area where I know there are other Americans lurking about, still sets me apart, and I like that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For one, it’s about the only thing that does set me apart—side from being a colonial, I can’t claim many other interesting selling points.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Plus, it’s something I’m good at; I don’t really need to put a lot of thought into how to go about being a Yank, it sort of comes natural.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">In fact, the only drawback of being special due to my national status is the fact that I am <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">always</i> special.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I were there world’s foremost authority on dung beetles and their socio-economic role in Africa, I could just not mention (probably a wise move) it and there would be no sidetracking of the conversation, unless someone at the pub recognized me from Mastermind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But when someone cottons on to my American accent, there is no hiding the fact, and I have to stop the discussion, do the “elevator pitch” version of my story, and then get back to the subject at hand, unless those present decide they’d rather talk about America.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">So, on average, it’s good to be an American in Britain, even if you’re not the only one in the village.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB"><b>Toni:</b><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">On the other hand….I sometimes get a bit tired of being “You know….that British woman”. I wouldn’t say I’m the only Brit in Chicago, there are literally thousands of us, but I’m usually the only Brit in my circles. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">I’ll admit, I can exaggerate my British-ness with the best of ‘em. A Margaret Thatcher-ish approach does wonders when I’m trying to return something or ask for something out of the ordinary and, as Stephen Fry pointed out a few years ago*, a British accent adds a certain gravitas and credibility on occasion. Heck, just being British has even resulted in a few TV appearances for me over the years. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">But sometimes I just want to fit in and be anonymous. (God, listen to me, I sound like one of those diva celebs.) One of the great things about landing at Heathrow every summer is the fact that no one turns to look at me when I talk. I am just one of many and no one’s really interested in where I’m from. From time to time that’s just bliss!<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span lang="EN-GB">*</span><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">I shouldn't be saying this - high treason, really - but I sometimes wonder if Americans aren't fooled by our accent into detecting brilliance that may not really be there. (Stephen Fry)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><!--EndFragment-->Expat mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17798190669591053390noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1374269644093476975.post-43624431333980683032011-11-20T06:51:00.000+00:002011-11-20T06:51:26.759+00:00Thanksgiving Funnies<div><i>As we've said before, Thanksgiving is a pretty big deal in the US, and consequently there can be a lot of stress associated with it. When something is hyped up to such a degree, there are always bound to be disasters and tears, most of which are only funny in hindsight. </i></div><div><i><br />
</i></div><div><i>Here are a few "funnies" we came across in our research. They might be urban myths for all we know, but they're entertaining:</i></div><div><br />
</div><div>"We visited our newly married daughter, who was preparing her first Thanksgiving dinner. I noticed the turkey thawing in the kitchen sink with a dish drainer inverted over the bird. I asked why a drainer covered the turkey. She said, "Mom, you always did it that way." "Yes," I said, "but you don't have a cat!" </div><div><br />
</div><div>A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."</div><div><br />
</div><div>"When I was a kid in Indiana, we thought it would be fun to get a turkey a year ahead of time for the following Thanksgiving. But by the time Thanksgiving came around, we sort of thought of the turkey as a pet, so we ate the dog. Only kidding. It was the cat."<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">. </span> <i> -- David Letterman</i></div><div><br />
</div><div>"My niece was in the kitchen garnishing the turkey on the platter for presentation. Her husband stood near her opening a bottle of champagne. The cork flew into the air and hit the overhead lights, which shattered and rained shards of glass all over the turkey."</div><div><br />
</div><div><br />
</div><div><b>Toni:</b></div><div><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWHvDofbAeROb0vlZIsduE4E4mdaldHdDbuxuTMaM-BzYwH4eo4QsL3MzVMNuq9wjSdgoDbaiGcZNDoYYX2p8U4gp6XlobccEdlXjjxxbf3vIK51_HVMjOoIbfJjpB6T7fIHuNuTtdtCbE/s1600/le+creuset.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWHvDofbAeROb0vlZIsduE4E4mdaldHdDbuxuTMaM-BzYwH4eo4QsL3MzVMNuq9wjSdgoDbaiGcZNDoYYX2p8U4gp6XlobccEdlXjjxxbf3vIK51_HVMjOoIbfJjpB6T7fIHuNuTtdtCbE/s1600/le+creuset.jpg" /></a></div><div>The first Thanksgiving I hosted for my in-laws saw me sitting with my right hand in a bowl of ice water for the entire meal. I had taken a large pot (like the one on the left) out of the oven, set it down and then grabbed the lid knob with my bare hand. Why it didn't register that it would be as hot as the pot itself, I don't know. All four fingers and my thumb had bright red, very painful burns on them which took weeks to heal. Got me out of the washing up though.</div><div><br />
</div><div><br />
</div><div><b>Mike:</b></div><div><br />
</div><div>One year, before the idea of being an expat occurred to me, I was doing Thanksgiving Day dinner with my erstwhile SO <i>She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named</i> and her brother’s family. We were doing the prep and the rest of the clan were coming for dinner. After the pumpkin pies were made, because we were in a small flat (sorry, apartment—this was in America) we set them in the back bedroom on the floor to cool.</div><div><br />
</div><div>There were four adults there but I was the only one with children and, as such, had developed that special radar—the one that tells a parent that it is too quiet. And then I thought about the dog.</div><div><br />
</div><div>You know what happened. Very happy dog, two ruined pies. So we did what you do in those situations. We smoothed them over as best we could, put whipped cream on top and served them anyway.</div><div><br />
</div><div>Nobody died. Nobody found out. And nobody asked why the dog looked so smug.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-BJuG8iVTDT17MN9HRnSKBRwU8rakc-I8yrMxdy89p7GL1YsUQtIurz1oUP3ALt-YYF7icIy7NQG0gSin07vX3rpnrf1jg_b1Qyib9fNqxHHocb4ArJUmBeQkWaOL6K-EJmyvnZnW41XC/s1600/bad-dog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-BJuG8iVTDT17MN9HRnSKBRwU8rakc-I8yrMxdy89p7GL1YsUQtIurz1oUP3ALt-YYF7icIy7NQG0gSin07vX3rpnrf1jg_b1Qyib9fNqxHHocb4ArJUmBeQkWaOL6K-EJmyvnZnW41XC/s200/bad-dog.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><div><br />
</div><div><i>Anyone else care to share?</i></div>Expat mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17798190669591053390noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1374269644093476975.post-77057623660390527292011-11-14T20:44:00.000+00:002011-11-14T20:44:52.294+00:00Clinging On and Letting Go<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; mso-outline-level: 1;"><i>A throwaway comment to another expat led to some ruminating about words…</i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><b>Toni:<o:p></o:p></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><b><u><br />
</u></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">I was having a conversation with the blogger <i><a href="http://notfromaroundhere.wordpress.com/" target="_blank">Not From Around Here</a></i> and the word <i>aeroplane</i> came up. (For those who don’t know, it’s <i>aeroplane</i> in the UK, and <i>airplane</i> in the US.) Having been in the US for 21 years, the word aeroplane suddenly strikes me as funny and baby-ish. I’m not sure that I go all out and say <i>airplane </i>– more likely I just swallow the “O” sound in an attempt to avoid merciless piss-taking by the kids.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">It’s funny which words I’ve adopted and which I still cling to. While I can now easily pronounce <i>basil</i> the American way (bay’ zil), <i>herb</i> will never be <i>‘erb</i> and <i>tomato</i> will always have two distinct T’s and a long A. Even though the kids imitate the British version of tomato, they would have even more fun if I came out with <i>tomaydo</i>. There are certain words that Brits just can’t get away with in the States, in much the same way that Americans in the UK should never say <i>bloody</i>. Just wrong.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">Some words you have to adopt if communication is your thing: the bonnet of the car becomes the hood, as the boot becomes the trunk. Same with baby paraphernalia – not many Americans know the words <i>dummy</i> and <i>nappy</i> (at least in the baby sense) so <i>pacifier</i> and <i>diaper</i> it is. School has been like an immersion course in Chinese, with <i>recess</i> instead of <i>playtime </i>or <i>break</i>, <i>semesters</i> and <i>commencements</i>, not to mention having to remember that high school kids go Freshman, Sophomore, Junior then Senior. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">Yes, I used to feel a bit strange using a different vocabulary but now I just consider myself bi-lingual!<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><b><span lang="EN-GB">Mike:<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">Bloody? I say <i>bloody</i> quite a bit, as in “Bloody hell!” I think I should be allowed this one as I used to say it in the States, long before I moved here. However, research suggests (i.e. I just asked my wife) that I do sound somewhat foolish saying it. I also say <i>oy vey</i> a lot, which is equally (so I’m advised) foolish-sounding. But none of that relates to this post and, furthermore, I have no plans to change.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">I have, however, changed other bits of my vocabulary. While I do not (not, not, <i>not</i>) have any hint of a British accent, so much British English has crept into my way of speaking that my friends in the States tell me I write like a Brit. I resisted this for a long time, as I really enjoy being the recalcitrant American, but after a while you need to start talking like the natives simply so you can get on with it.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">Unlike Toni, I don’t interact with people in situations where misunderstandings could prove critical (I am not, for example, in danger of handing <i>Rescue Annie</i> to a baby who need a <i>pacifier</i>) so I probably get away with using Americanism more than she can rely on Brit-speak, but I have added a fair few, handy Anglo words to my lexicon over the years.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">Some words have been completely adopted, such as <i>car park</i>, <i>high street</i> and <i>town centre</i>. I can’t tell you the last time I referred to a <i>parking lot</i>, or said <i>downtown</i>. Likewise the use of <i>holiday</i>: I have adopted this so completely it confuses my American friends. When I asked someone, who was telling my about their new job, how much holiday they got, they began listing off things like Memorial Day, Thanksgiving and the like. I had to stop them to clarify that I meant <i>vacation</i> time.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">Other areas have morphed into a mixture of British and American terms. For instance, the car still has a <i>hood</i> and a <i>trunk</i>, but I go to a <i>petrol station</i> to put <i>petrol</i> in it. In the kitchen, though I do <i>the washing up</i> and occasionally refer to the <i>stove</i> as the <i>cooker</i>, it is still, very defiantly, <i>ta-may’-to</i>, <i>bay’-zel</i>, <i>or-egg’-a-no</i>, <i>a-lum’-in-um foil</i> and <i>Saran Wrap</i> (never <i>cling film</i>).</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">And, strangely, even after all this time here, I still tend to refer to prices using the term <i>dollars</i> instead of <i>pounds</i>.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><br />
<br />
<center><span style="font-family: 'courier new'; font-size: 85%;">Got something you want us to address? E-mail your suggestion to:<br />
MHMail55-MT AT Yahoo.com<br />
or just pop it into the comment box.</span></center>MikeHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01530099708429116393noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1374269644093476975.post-50363912741395545882011-11-05T12:20:00.001+00:002011-11-05T14:56:34.659+00:00Cheer-leaders. The Devil's Spawn.<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><i>OK, the title is a little extreme, but Mike and Toni are in agreement about this:-</i><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><b><u>Toni</u>:</b><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">I was writing something the other day about American sports, and I went off on a bit of a rant tangent when I got to Cheerleaders. I can't stand anything about cheer-leading, and it's HUGE here.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">For Pete's sake people – it's the 21st century. Why are we encouraging females to stand around half-dressed, cheering on the sidelines while their hunky male peers are on the field/pitch/court gaining all the glory? (OK, I know some cheer-leading squads have males in them, but they make-up about 0.1%.)<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">Second – it's extremely dangerous. According to Wiki, of the US's 2.9 million female High School athletes, only 3% are cheerleaders yet cheer-leading accounts for 65% of catastrophic injuries among those girls. I certainly wouldn't be wanting my daughter at the top of those human pyramids.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">Third – it's dangerous because of some of the whack-jobs and the lengths they will go thru to win, or score a place on the team. Anyone remember the 1981 incident of Wanda Holloway, now known as the "Texas Cheer-leader-Murdering-Mom" after she hired a hit man to kill the mother of her daughter's rival for a place on the squad?<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">Fourth – it's dangerous, according to a Texas politician, who, in 2005 sponsored a bill (affectionately known as "<a href="http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2005/05/04/national/main692814.shtml">The Booty Bill</a>") that would outlaw sexually suggestive cheer-leading routines at school events. (Good luck with that.) Not so much because it was demeaning to women, or inappropriate for the audience age, oh no. Because it would lead to "pregnancies, high school dropouts (and the) contraction of AIDS and herpes." Correct me if I'm wrong, but if these girls are being provocative and end up pregnant or carrying a yucky disease, isn't there usually a guy involved somewhere along the way?<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">Oh yeah – and they're really, really irritating!<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">But I couldn't help laughing when I read that there are an estimated 100,000 participants outside the USA now.<o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhT3UtS1MokrXB5P5f93jRUQceZ_b94dDbTEYhXQB6QmZj6K64_zjfGIFgDJXm4lvDnL352P8_tRBvp76sEHC7rxUwH7w-dc2E2x1V71xpPNE8d8WZrDs7k6kkZodYjucACmdKvt35Gzkg/s1600/CheerleaderSplits2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="129" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhT3UtS1MokrXB5P5f93jRUQceZ_b94dDbTEYhXQB6QmZj6K64_zjfGIFgDJXm4lvDnL352P8_tRBvp76sEHC7rxUwH7w-dc2E2x1V71xpPNE8d8WZrDs7k6kkZodYjucACmdKvt35Gzkg/s200/CheerleaderSplits2.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><b><u><span lang="EN-GB">Mike</span></u><span lang="EN-GB">:<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">Actually, Toni and I are not in total agreement on this: I think cheerleading is wrong on so many levels (no, <i>all</i> of them) in Britain, but I think it belongs in America. In fact, I think cheerleading belongs <i>to</i> America; it is embedded in its fabric, it embodies the very soul of what America is all about and it gives the girlfriends of high school athletes something to do.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">Cheerleading is loud, brassy, glitzy and entertaining without providing any real value—like a McHappy Meal or a weekend in Disney World—and what could be more American than that? </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">No, I think that cheerleading and America go hand-in-pompom (that’s not a euphemism) and the American Experience would be poorer without it. So keep on cheering, America, and hang on to those cheerleaders, please, and stop them from infecting the rest of the world.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">So, yeah, we have cheerleaders over here now. Not a lot, and not as in-your-face as at a Dallas Cowboy's game, but they are starting to creep in, and it is giving me, well, the creeps.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">The soccer team I periodically go see play—the Brighton and Hove Ablion Seagulls—have cheerleaders. They are called Gully’s Girls, a reference to the team’s Seagull-outfitted mascot known as Gully (apparently these girls are his harem), and they have performed at every game I have seen. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">On the plus side, it gives the local gals something to do other than hang around the high street yakking on their mobile phones; god knows the youth here could use some diversions of the non-violent and non-alcohol induced variety, so good on them, they started a cheerleading squad.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">But that’s like opening up a quilting shop in the Sudan: it’s unnecessary, out of place and no one needs or wants it. For their efforts, the squad gets to parade around the pitch prior to the games, smile and shake their pompoms at the crowd (no, that’s not a euphuism, either) while collectively looking like a group of girls who were gathered up off of the high street, dressed in matching tee shirts and plunked down on a soccer field. They seem to know that they are there to do something, but they are not quite sure what it is.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">At half-time, they’re allowed to gyrate to popular music in the middle of the field while the fans stock up on more sausage rolls or queue up for the loo. They are [ad mode] <ad mode="">as I have noted in my highly acclaimed and hilarious book, <i>More Postcards From Across the Pond</i> [/ad mode] </ad>like ants at a picnic: mildly annoying, not supposed to be there, but generally harmless.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">So we clearly do not need cheerleaders here, and while cheerleading incidents remain, for the time being, sporadic and local, there is always the chance that they may enter into the national scene, which would be just so, so wrong, and so un-British. I probably shouldn’t worry—the WAGS (wives and girls friends) are already celebrities over here, so they aren’t going to bother putting a squad together. The real danger is from random, amateur exhibitionists who delight in scandalous behavior in front of the entire nation. Keeping them out of British sport may require bringing back Big Brother, but if that’s what it takes to keep the nation cheerleader-free, I’d be willing to make that sacrifice. It would be for the greater good.</span><br />
<span lang="EN-GB"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_eoE99fSH037RXMlUACRxBn5WBGQP7nnkQV70qSvzvcJCP63QLRxDA4Fne5XPSlCIuBThvNZhrMDL-Q-yCm0zquar2lzXbKspvJW0c7zZHs0Sial9aOvil7KztrZ2_CamMVetW553t_l1/s1600/cheerleader01.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_eoE99fSH037RXMlUACRxBn5WBGQP7nnkQV70qSvzvcJCP63QLRxDA4Fne5XPSlCIuBThvNZhrMDL-Q-yCm0zquar2lzXbKspvJW0c7zZHs0Sial9aOvil7KztrZ2_CamMVetW553t_l1/s1600/cheerleader01.jpg" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><br />
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<center><span style="font-family: 'courier new'; font-size: 85%;">Got something you want us to address? E-mail your suggestion to:<br />
MHMail55-MT AT Yahoo.com<br />
or just pop it into the comment box.</span></center>Expat mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17798190669591053390noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1374269644093476975.post-19813786734118475082011-11-02T14:45:00.000+00:002011-11-02T14:45:21.635+00:00MidWeek Mention - The Middle Class HandbookCame across a great new web site/blog the other day - <a href="http://www.middleclasshandbook.co.uk/">The Middle Class Handbook</a> - (An illustrated field guide to the changing behaviour and tastes of Britain's new middle class tribes".) It's also a book which is available on Amazon.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7lHawIvJnjJaIEk9bJFdOGb_kY4b34Hh6mRIWDzput7Q7dLc9aakzMQyGwJiXOF6fH0krwiA9xvtSOCNN41bCpsrPbCazz84ls1D5dMMErU1fmZ9zZsnlKjRDnolh0kkx-3Az1H6mAOA/s1600/mch_cover_final.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7lHawIvJnjJaIEk9bJFdOGb_kY4b34Hh6mRIWDzput7Q7dLc9aakzMQyGwJiXOF6fH0krwiA9xvtSOCNN41bCpsrPbCazz84ls1D5dMMErU1fmZ9zZsnlKjRDnolh0kkx-3Az1H6mAOA/s320/mch_cover_final.png" width="235" /></a></div><br />
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How to describe the British middle class eh? It's not about money, since many of them have quite a lot and would certainly be Upper Class in the US. It's not even about what they do for a living - more about what they do in their spare time, really.<br />
<br />
Anyway, this web site is a hoot, and hits the nail on the head. There's a Middle Class Periodic table, and a short description of each of the emerging MC tribes <a href="http://www.middleclasshandbook.co.uk/the-periodic-table-of-the-midd/">here. </a>Which one do you identify with, if any?<br />
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There's also a hilarious piece about Middle Class holiday destinations, with a map showing where the Middle Class goes, and how many points the place scores for "Implied Wealth" and "Eco Feel Good". Here's the one about Northumberland, which seems to score rather well. Not sure if that's a good or bad thing though.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUjar0_kwomCtljT9hQ9E9L83ZidNEJXiNANswTrvh57-XZvULK08sE8nwAUwPI3zZc2UQtPQm2cnsBZqjTaAl1Olf_M-uVD07OcYu7UZZTcgolGRAK65mnvq5wIiFkBvY854HGXGOKqw/s1600/northumberland_coast.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUjar0_kwomCtljT9hQ9E9L83ZidNEJXiNANswTrvh57-XZvULK08sE8nwAUwPI3zZc2UQtPQm2cnsBZqjTaAl1Olf_M-uVD07OcYu7UZZTcgolGRAK65mnvq5wIiFkBvY854HGXGOKqw/s320/northumberland_coast.png" width="198" /></a></div><br />
Being called "Middle Class" in the UK, is generally slightly derogatory these days, but it's difficult to explain why to non-Brits. Any offers?Expat mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17798190669591053390noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1374269644093476975.post-70887024183550089552011-10-30T17:40:00.000+00:002011-10-30T17:40:08.851+00:00Happy Halloween<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:DocumentProperties> <o:Revision>0</o:Revision> <o:TotalTime>0</o:TotalTime> <o:Pages>1</o:Pages> <o:Words>532</o:Words> <o:Characters>3033</o:Characters> <o:Company>self</o:Company> <o:Lines>25</o:Lines> <o:Paragraphs>7</o:Paragraphs> <o:CharactersWithSpaces>3558</o:CharactersWithSpaces> <o:Version>14.0</o:Version> </o:DocumentProperties> <o:OfficeDocumentSettings> <o:RelyOnVML/> <o:AllowPNG/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--> <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>JA</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/> <w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/> <w:OverrideTableStyleHps/> </w:Compatibility> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB"><i>Love it or hate it, there's no getting away from Halloween:</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-GB"><br />
</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-GB"><u>Toni:</u><o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-GB"><br />
</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">As you’ll know, Halloween is HUGE in the States. According to one Halloween costume company there are 41 million potential Trick or Treaters this year (aged 5-14). People will spend $1.21 BILLION on adults’ costumes, $1 Billion on kids’ costumes and $310 million on pet costumes.Yes, that's right - pet costumes. 87.78 million houses will give out candy and everyone will consume an average of 1.2 pounds of the stuff. As I said, HUGE.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">It’s also quite good fun; people get into the spirit and in my neighbourhood, will decorate their houses on the outside, and perhaps sit on the front porch to greet the kids coming round. Either that or they’re just making sure that no one takes more than a few pieces. Last year we had kids with pillowcases in which to carry their booty. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">All the parties happened on Saturday night so there were quite a few “sights” walking round the streets. I may have mentioned in previous years that Halloween costumes here don’t have to be spooky. Kids dress as anything from a Mario brother to a knight in shining armour, and grown men get the chance to dress in women’s clothing without people looking askance at them.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">I, for one, went all out this year with the help of a 2<sup>nd</sup> hand psychedelic cat suit and a large wig. I went to a party where there was also karaoke, so my look was 70’s Disco Queen. Unfortunately I ended up looking more like a Drag Queen, but it’s all good fun.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiH5kxz5je_1r4vLbz-cHv04gUBZTSDETf2HDHfSwSaJPkwqlEIb4YjLHn29PMQTmiRjVgvHxvoQV14XS_ih7xoWLNX7VP9ChH-xRAwuOsTVWNHaMMQhsOGXjGJfQ0iODc6790W0PEkOKI/s1600/photo-34.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiH5kxz5je_1r4vLbz-cHv04gUBZTSDETf2HDHfSwSaJPkwqlEIb4YjLHn29PMQTmiRjVgvHxvoQV14XS_ih7xoWLNX7VP9ChH-xRAwuOsTVWNHaMMQhsOGXjGJfQ0iODc6790W0PEkOKI/s320/photo-34.JPG" width="239" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-GB"><o:p><b> </b>Looking more drag than disco, with my Sith date.</o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-GB">Mike:</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">Halloween is alive and well in Horsham.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Although I detected a lack of enthusiasm in the run up to the celebrations—merely a few window displays in some of the local shops—today it seemed as if someone fired the starting pistol on all things Halloween.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">While wandering around town today many of the store clerks and market stall staff were dressed in costumes and there was a celebration at the band stand where groups of children in Halloween garb got to show off their stuff.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While walking across the street to get a Chinese take away this evening, I saw young people in fancy dress going into town and after dinner I heard the raucous celebrations and saw the fireworks display (which I enjoyed from the balcony while smoking my postprandial cigar) taking place at the local cricket ground.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">In addition to this, on the telly tonight, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Strictly Come Dancing</i>, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">QI</i> and some other popular shows have aired (or are going to air) Halloween-themed programs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Considering that (with the exception of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Strictly</i>, which is a live-ish show) these episodes were filmed back in July, it is obvious they have been thinking about Halloween for some time.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">What I do not see in any of this is any trick-or-treating, and that is how it should be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don’t get me wrong; I love that aspect of Halloween and consider it the very essence of the holiday in the US.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But that’s the thing: Trick-or-Treating is American and is therefore looked upon with misgiving over here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To have kids showing up at your house demanding candy is akin to a confectionary shakedown.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>An article I read while waiting for my take-away—written by the Sussex Police—advised parents, if they were going to take their children trick-or-treating, to visit only the homes of friend or relatives (i.e. people who were expecting them).<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">So Halloween is not ignored over here, it’s a major part of the autumn celebrations, which do not include pestering strangers for candy.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">Oh, and there’s no TPing, either.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Courier New"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";">Got something you want us to address? E-mail your suggestion to:<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Courier New"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";">MHMail55-MT AT Yahoo.com<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Courier New"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";">or just pop it into the comment box.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><!--EndFragment-->Expat mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17798190669591053390noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1374269644093476975.post-27102793740664232422011-10-27T14:42:00.000+01:002011-10-27T14:42:36.167+01:00MidWeek Mention - The Pitmen Painters<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLa41uh-Pbhro-FACvyr1aa2Oi-uAO7ZGBN7UuKiYtKT735UN_Q4EX-AlwCH0rUwFFaD6m5aXiYOhSvlN3mW9gNrnXIQrEQNuAabAwjokwbQpBmVk33gjN9cdqwf2woeQ7nHPBhvHX1EA/s1600/Pitmenpainters.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLa41uh-Pbhro-FACvyr1aa2Oi-uAO7ZGBN7UuKiYtKT735UN_Q4EX-AlwCH0rUwFFaD6m5aXiYOhSvlN3mW9gNrnXIQrEQNuAabAwjokwbQpBmVk33gjN9cdqwf2woeQ7nHPBhvHX1EA/s1600/Pitmenpainters.jpg" /></a></div><br />
If you're from the North East of England, you're probably familiar with the tale of the Pitmen Painters; a group of miners from Ashington Colliery in Northumberland.<br />
<br />
A permanent exhibition of the miners' work can be seen at <a href="http://www.experiencewoodhorn.com/the-pitman-painters/">Woodhorn Museum in Northumberland</a>, if you're up that way. Toni visited this summer and although it's a small museum, it's well worth a visit. A book and a play have been produced about the Pitmen Painters, and after a fantastic run at Newcastle's Live Theatre and elsewhere, it's now playing at the Duchess Theatre in London's West End till January. Here's a r<a href="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/theatre/theatre-reviews/8820906/The-Pitman-Painters-The-Duchess-theatre-review.html">eview of the play</a> in London. Mike has seen it and recommends it.<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"></span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRghIDhiu3kueg7_XD_cyD_vLwVieDN-LPLhG0mD34DoRtgUF7N7lPTbDjEFme0RWvKEm8lMKdB8BsFIwiZ4GPyWwVguk6O83Dq697B6ovYEt3hmZnzwtBmCuFU6XjAdMNflt5zxceYCw/s1600/pitmen+painting.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRghIDhiu3kueg7_XD_cyD_vLwVieDN-LPLhG0mD34DoRtgUF7N7lPTbDjEFme0RWvKEm8lMKdB8BsFIwiZ4GPyWwVguk6O83Dq697B6ovYEt3hmZnzwtBmCuFU6XjAdMNflt5zxceYCw/s1600/pitmen+painting.jpg" /></a></span></div><br />
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For Americans, it's also playing at the Manhattan Theatre Club in New York City and (oh joy) at the Timeline Theatre in Chicago.<br />
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<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Here's one more<a href="http://www.itv.com/perspectives/documentaries/the-pitmen-painters-with-robson-green/"> link to Robson Greene </a>talking about the making of the Pitmen Painters. (Readers in the USA may not be able to view it.)</div><div><br />
</div>Expat mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17798190669591053390noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1374269644093476975.post-620668418187384282011-10-23T18:44:00.000+01:002011-10-23T18:44:37.338+01:00Americans & Brits - Always Offending Each Other<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:DocumentProperties> <o:Revision>0</o:Revision> <o:TotalTime>0</o:TotalTime> <o:Pages>1</o:Pages> <o:Words>523</o:Words> <o:Characters>2986</o:Characters> <o:Company>self</o:Company> <o:Lines>24</o:Lines> <o:Paragraphs>7</o:Paragraphs> <o:CharactersWithSpaces>3502</o:CharactersWithSpaces> <o:Version>14.0</o:Version> </o:DocumentProperties> <o:OfficeDocumentSettings> <o:AllowPNG/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--> <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>JA</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/> <w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/> <w:OverrideTableStyleHps/> <w:UseFELayout/> </w:Compatibility> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-outline-level: 1;"><i>In the years that we’ve lived “abroad”, we’ve quickly discovered that it’s easy to insult someone without really trying:</i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><i><o:p></o:p></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><u>Toni:</u></b><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Oh yes, even after 21 years here, I still manage to offend people willy nilly. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Take the phrase “Shut Up”. Although a few Americans use it to mean “No way!”, there is no other acceptable version. In the UK I’d have no problem saying “Oh shut up” if someone for example, comes out with a funny, gross exaggeration or something utterly gross. I once accidentally said “Shut up” to one of my kids (I meant to say “Be Quiet” which is almost as bad here). Unfortunately we happened to be in a room full of parents with kids, and they all literally stopped mid-sentence, turned to look at me and gasped in unison. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">The other “bad” word here is “stupid.” I once called attention to a woman who was walking on the road, with traffic coming up behind her, headphones on and just asking to be run over. “Look at that stupid woman”, I said to my kids. “She’s going to get hit by a car”. As I said it, another woman walked past my open car window and muttered “Charming” loudly enough for me to hear. You also can’t get away with calling someone a “stupid idiot” either in jest or for real. You might as well use the word “retarded”. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-outline-level: 1;">Another “sin" is when I fail to acknowledge any thanks I receive. I often complain that Americans rarely say “Please” but boy do they take “Thank you” seriously, to the point that if you don’t say “You’re welcome”, people you know really well (ie. Cheeky kids) will often say it for you. There’s a crossing guard/lollipop man outside our school every morning. He gets thanked every time he walks someone across the street, and he says “You’re welcome” to every single person. If that were me, I’d have <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>a little tape recorder in my pocket doing it for me!<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><u>Mike</u></b><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">The US/UK divide that catches me out more than “Shut up” (I haven’t had any reason to say that word since my children grew up) is the way they use “Please” and “Thank you.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">In the US, “Thank You” is the star.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Please” is reserved—in my experience—for those occasions when several requests have gone ignored, and it is usually uttered with more than a little sarcasm:<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">“Will you <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">please</i> clean up your room; this is the third time I’ve asked.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thank you.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">But here, “Please” takes center stage and “Thank you”—if it appears at all—is a bit player. Leaving out “Please” is considered rude and, I suppose, thanking someone before they actually do something could be considered a bit presumptuous. </span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Therefore, my e-mail communications at work often go something like this:<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Colleague to me:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Will you please send me the specifications for the new widget?”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Me to Colleague:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Thinking: whoa, what’s up with him?)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“The specification is still missing a few key points.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Could you send me your notes from yesterday’s meeting where we discussed these points?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That would be a big help.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thanks.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Colleague: (Thinking: wanker!)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I compiled my notes and copied them to the document repository.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Please see my e-mail from yesterday afternoon concerning this.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Me: (Thinking: asshole!)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I don’t seem to have an e-mail from you about that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Could you resend it?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thanks.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Colleague:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“It’s in the standard location, you stupid Colonial retard!”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Me: “Why don’t you just shut the f*&k up and answer my question, you sanctimonious British ponce!<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Okay, so maybe those last two exchanges don’t actually happen, but that’s what we’re thinking.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><!--EndFragment-->Expat mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17798190669591053390noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1374269644093476975.post-65512541979841276782011-10-16T16:17:00.001+01:002011-10-16T16:18:22.336+01:00Splitting Hairs<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 24px;"><i>When you move across The Pond your mind starts playing tricks on you after a while. Some well-worn phrases are so similar that you can’t remember which one’s which. While it’s “no biggie”, use of the wrong phrase can raise a wry smile from friends and family members, and make for great conversation.</i></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">For example, </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">In the US you “putter around” and in the UK it’s “potter”; the American “meat and potatoes” becomes Britain’s “meat and two veg”; and “Main Street” is “High Street”. So far so good, but it’s a bugger trying to keep them straight after more than a decade or two.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">There’s the American “downtown” which becomes the “town centre”, “talk shows” are “chat shows” in the UK, and “business casual” becomes “smart casual” (or “casual smart” in some cases). Did you know it’s “hodge podge” in the States and “hotch potch” in Britain? Or “tid-bit” instead of the more risqué British “tit-bit”?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">Some are not only hard to keep sorted, but bloody irritating at the same time, like the US’s “Every little bit helps” versus Britain’s “Every little helps”.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">To quote Mike - “This one drives me nuts. There is an advert on the telly -- Tesco, ASDA, LIDL or one of the other low-budget shops--that ends "every little helps" and I want to scream at the TV--"Every little WHAT helps?"</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">Toni’s pet peeve is “I could care less” which is oft-heard in the States. Do Americans realise what they’re saying? They’re trying to convey a deep sense of well, not caring, yet they’re telling you they could actually care a little bit less than they do? There is a suggestion that it’s a highly sarcastic phrase </span>meaning "as if I could care less about this", but since Americans generally don’t employ sarcasm, it’s doubtful.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">And the worst thing about it is...well, <span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 24px;">David</span><span style="line-height: 150%;"> Mitchell says it <span id="goog_834032415"></span>so much better<span id="goog_834032416"></span> than we could:</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/om7O0MFkmpw?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div>MikeHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01530099708429116393noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1374269644093476975.post-91426830020221302892011-10-09T20:00:00.000+01:002011-10-09T20:00:13.980+01:00Host Country words & phrases<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:DocumentProperties> <o:Revision>0</o:Revision> <o:TotalTime>0</o:TotalTime> <o:Pages>1</o:Pages> <o:Words>488</o:Words> <o:Characters>2783</o:Characters> <o:Company>self</o:Company> <o:Lines>23</o:Lines> <o:Paragraphs>6</o:Paragraphs> <o:CharactersWithSpaces>3265</o:CharactersWithSpaces> <o:Version>14.0</o:Version> </o:DocumentProperties> <o:OfficeDocumentSettings> <o:RelyOnVML/> <o:AllowPNG/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--> <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>JA</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/> <w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/> <w:OverrideTableStyleHps/> </w:Compatibility> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; mso-outline-level: 1;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-GB">Host Phrases<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB"><i>We’re obviously into discussing words and phrases, because this week we’re highlighting three favourite/favourite words from our host country:-</i><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-GB"><u>Mike:</u><o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">Cor Blimey!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Three words or phrases I’ve picked up from my host country?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Gordon Bennet, that’s a tall order, innit, and bugger if I can come up with anything.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve been sitting here for ten minutes and, so far, I’ve got sweet FA.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">Yeah, to be honest, limiting it to three is the hard part.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The British language is so full of brilliant words and phrases that it’s difficult to not pick them up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I visit the States these days, people have a hard time figuring out what I’m on about.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">So for my three:<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-GB">Penultimate:</span></b><span lang="EN-GB"> I love this one because no one knows what it means.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In America, we just say “next to the last” or, more likely, don’t mention it at all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I mean, if it isn’t the ultimate, it simply doesn’t matter.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-GB">Fortnight</span></b><span lang="EN-GB"> is a good one, too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>People know immediately what it means, but when you say something like, “We’ll be holidaying there for a fortnight,” they think you’re talking like a Jane Austin novel.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-GB">Bollocks</span></b><span lang="EN-GB">, however, is my favorite.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s such a handy pejorative – “bollocks!” – or can be used to describe a telling-off (“Clive toddled home from the Dog and Bacon at half three last night and she-indoors* gave him a proper bollocking, poor sod.”)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">Really, how can you not like these words?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">*She-Indoors = wife<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><u><span lang="EN-GB"><b>Toni</b></span></u><span lang="EN-GB"><b>:-</b><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">(I thought it was “her indoors”, or “’er indoors”, but never mind.)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">If this were a competition, Mike’s “bollocks” would win hands down, so to speak. There just isn’t really a word anywhere on the planet, I venture, that has quite the impact. However, there are a few Americanisms that I have grown fond of over the years.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">“<b>Snooze, you lose</b>” – used in our house on a daily basis and covers everything from me asking what the kids want for Christmas, (I usually give them ten seconds to list their “wants”), to justification for nicking the last piece of pizza.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">“<b>Copasetic</b>” – I have never actually plucked up the courage to say this. It would be like an American saying “bollocks” – somehow fake-sounding and just plain wrong. However, it’s another one of those words that can cover a lot of bases (ooh, there’s another American phrase), and it means “perfectly satisfactory”. Doesn’t it have a much more scientific sound though? I think it should mean something to do with the left frontal lobe. Or something. (See why I’ve never used it.)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">“<b>Behoove</b>” – I’m not so much fond of this word as amazed by it. Yes, it means the same as “behove” but talk about sounding stupid. The word is used a little more in the States than I remember it in the UK, especially in the southern states. The first time I heard someone saying “It would behove you to…” I honestly thought it was a joke. Be-what? Talk about taking a perfectly good British (Middle English, actually) word and spoiling it like that. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Courier New"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";">Got something you want us to address? E-mail your suggestion to:<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Courier New"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";">MHMail55-MT AT Yahoo.com<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Courier New"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";">or just pop it into the comment box.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><!--EndFragment-->Expat mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17798190669591053390noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1374269644093476975.post-66148837895178176012011-10-02T14:04:00.000+01:002011-10-02T14:04:54.200+01:00And All This Time I Thought it Meant....<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; mso-outline-level: 1;"><i><span lang="EN-GB">No matter how long you live in a "host" country, you're learning all the time. This week we talk about the words we've merrily been assuming we knew the meaning of...</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><b><span lang="EN-GB">Toni:<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">The Ball & Chain is American and has always had quite a colourful vocabulary; by that, I don't mean swearing, but coming out with phrases like "That dog ain't hunting" and "If I had my druthers" *. I have often accused him of making words and phrases up, but I'm having to acknowledge that even after 21 years in the States, the vocabulary still stumps me from time to time.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">* druthers -- a preference. Presumably comes from "I'd rather" wouldn't you think?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">Take "jonesing" -- a word that comes up quite regularly but the context gives no clue as to its meaning. I have never asked for a definition in public because it's always sounded vaguely dirty to me. A bit like "cottaging". An example of usage is someone is "jonesing" for something. (See - I told you it had dodgy undertones.), and it means "to have a strong need, desire or craving for something". </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">Then there's carpet-bagger -- a derogatory name used in politics, giving no clues to its meaning. I noticed that it was usually aimed at politicians who were representing regions they didn't come from, as when Hillary Clinton bought a house in New York State and then ran for Senate. According to Wikipedia it was a name Southerners gave to Northerners in the US who moved to the South between 1865 and 1877. The Northerners were accused of questionable motives, exploitation and of meddling in local politics. However, the name comes about because they carried their luggage in carpet bags (a la Mary Poppins).</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJ0o6mKL6-Oky912q4xvZazFB0aY8t3lCtLxZDuKUKQCDdoa1mTqcV2qxSr5jMcmK5_8WkojVWi87Hf0AABtZPWK0TALY66Ep7LX_MKxjiFCG5yJbauyYup5Nnv5uKNw_BZFvjiGWcWDM_/s1600/maryp.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJ0o6mKL6-Oky912q4xvZazFB0aY8t3lCtLxZDuKUKQCDdoa1mTqcV2qxSr5jMcmK5_8WkojVWi87Hf0AABtZPWK0TALY66Ep7LX_MKxjiFCG5yJbauyYup5Nnv5uKNw_BZFvjiGWcWDM_/s320/maryp.jpg" width="320" /></a><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><b>Carpet Bagger</b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB"><o:p> </o:p></span>Another vaguely dirty-sounding phrase I hear a lot is "charlie horse". Someone will exclaim that they have a Charlie Horse, and I never dare look in his or her direction. Fortunately it only means 'painful cramps or spasms in the leg", a bit like a dead leg in the UK.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">Now that I have bothered to learn the true meanings, I will use the above words and phrases as often as possible over the next few weeks!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><b><span lang="EN-GB">Mike:<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">I don’t have the same problem Toni does, but not because I have become an authority on British English over the previous ten years; quite the opposite, in fact.<span> </span>The British language is so varied and regionalized that even British people become confused about the language from time to time.<span> </span>And if you take rhyming slang into account (which we are not) all bets are off.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">You might, for example, wake up in your home county, travel to a place where you can have a “bap” for lunch, walk down a “twitten” and stroll by the “brook,” and then move on to another locale where you can have a “cob” for dinner, walk down a ‘ginnel’ and stroll by the ‘beck.’<span> </span>I am, therefore, used to not knowing what people are talking about, and I am generally not alone.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">(Definitions: Bap/Cob = bread roll, Twitten/Ginnel = narrow alley way between houses.)</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">Usually, it’s safe to assume any word I don’t know the meaning of is yet another euphemism for penis.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">There remain, however, a few British words that give me more problems than others.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">It wasn’t very long ago that I ran across the term “any road” and I had no way of divining what that could possibly mean.<span> </span>Recently, I came to understand it simply means “anyway.”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">Another source of confusion involves things belonging to a dog, for they can denote “good” or “bad” depending on the item.<span> </span>The “dog’s bollocks” means something is really great, while the “dog’s dinner” (or breakfast) means it is a mess.<span> </span>This took a bit of getting used to, but I have, happily, caught on.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">Another word I struggled with was “gormless.” <span> </span>I had no way of knowing what my “Gorms” were but I was pretty certain I did not want to be without them.<span> </span>Likewise, “Muppet,” does that mean you are a Jim Henson devotee, or what?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">Muppet, I was able to get to grips with due to the context.<span> </span>It means that you’re, well, a muppet.<span> </span>If you can imagine a person you might want to call a muppet, well, that’s a muppet.<span> </span>Sorry, I can’t come up with anything better than that.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhe5n7KMsCTgDpHnd90ran4QcM73QPblj-qk2c2YQXDhJEd0qKG2uAkt3FyjWS7aU-YMtoo5BRuGs1ziaBhAxuq-lYyIe8wU-gtfzvdyJijVD7F4WjpONAx_tmFSuminDg739zd069ysVIJ/s1600/muppet.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhe5n7KMsCTgDpHnd90ran4QcM73QPblj-qk2c2YQXDhJEd0qKG2uAkt3FyjWS7aU-YMtoo5BRuGs1ziaBhAxuq-lYyIe8wU-gtfzvdyJijVD7F4WjpONAx_tmFSuminDg739zd069ysVIJ/s320/muppet.jpg" width="320" /></a><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><b>Do you know this guy?</b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB"><o:p> </o:p></span>As for “gormless” I mistakenly believed it meant lazy, but when I verified that with my wife she told me that was not, in fact, what it meant.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">“What does it mean, then,” I asked.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">“It means you’re a muppet,” she said.</span></div>Expat mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17798190669591053390noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1374269644093476975.post-18762877698718570092011-09-25T16:17:00.000+01:002011-09-25T16:17:47.139+01:00The Unofficial US Citizenship Test<i>Spring-boarding off a great post from expat-Kiwi-in-the-UK, Vegemite Vix (<a href="http://www.vegemitevix.com/2011/09/life-in-the-uk-the-unofficial-test/">here) </a>whereby she came up with an Unofficial UK Citizenship Test, we thought we'd try our hand at the US version.</i><br />
<br />
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<div class="MsoNormal"><u>Unofficial US Citizenship Test</u><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Q - When driving, what does an orange/amber light signify?<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">- Put your foot down and floor it before the light changes to red.</div><div class="MsoNormal">- Even though you’re almost through the junction, you should apply the brakes, and hope that all passengers are wearing seatbelts and that the driver behind you is paying attention</div><div class="MsoNormal">- You don’t know, you never took the test and you’re driving without insurance as we speak</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p><br />
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</style> <![endif]--> <!--StartFragment--> </o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Q - Riding a bicycle allows you to – <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">- Ride the wrong way down all one way streets</div><div class="MsoNormal">- Spit on the car of anyone who expects you to follow the rules of the road</div><div class="MsoNormal">- Ignore all STOP signs</div><div class="MsoNormal">- All of the above</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">a </span></span>Q - With regard to everyday rules, they are –</div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">- Made to be broken (Hey - this is America)</div><div class="MsoNormal">- Only applicable if you can understand the reasoning behind them</div><div class="MsoNormal">- Only for other people (who should follow them to the letter)</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo3; text-indent: -.25in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo3; text-indent: -.25in;"> Q - The final line in the National Anthem is -</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo3; text-indent: -.25in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo3; text-indent: -.25in;"> - <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">...And the home of the brave.</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo3; text-indent: -.25in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"> - Play Ball!</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo3; text-indent: -.25in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"> - Depends if you are holding a chilli dog in one hand and a beer in the other</span></div><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:DocumentProperties> <o:Revision>0</o:Revision> <o:TotalTime>0</o:TotalTime> <o:Pages>1</o:Pages> <o:Words>11</o:Words> <o:Characters>65</o:Characters> <o:Company>self</o:Company> <o:Lines>1</o:Lines> <o:Paragraphs>1</o:Paragraphs> <o:CharactersWithSpaces>75</o:CharactersWithSpaces> <o:Version>14.0</o:Version> </o:DocumentProperties> <o:OfficeDocumentSettings> <o:RelyOnVML/> <o:AllowPNG/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--> <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>JA</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/> <w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/> <w:OverrideTableStyleHps/> </w:Compatibility> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
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mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
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mso-para-margin:0in;
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mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
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UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" SemiHidden="false"
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</div><div class="MsoNormal">Q - <span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 24px;">After eating a dozen Krispy Kreme donuts you should feel:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 24px;">- a huge sugar rush</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 24px;">- slightly nauseous</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 24px;">- embarrassed</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 24px;">- the urge for a Big Gulp or a large coffee with extra sugar</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 24px;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 24px;">Q - The South includes:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 24px;">- all states below the Mason-Dixon line</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 24px;">- states where it doesn't snow</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 24px;">- Texas</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 24px;">- Wherever you hear someone say "y'all"</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 24px;"><br />
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</style> <![endif]--> <!--StartFragment--> <!--EndFragment--><div class="MsoNormal">- He is armed</div><div class="MsoNormal">- You've had a bad day and this is just one more thing you don't need</div><div class="MsoNormal">- You have a "drop piece"* you can put in his hand after you shoot him</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">* drop piece - a gun that you plant on someone after they've been shot, to "justify" the killing</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Q - How much alcohol are you allowed while driving in your state?</div><div class="MsoNormal">- You can hold your alcohol and have never had a problem behind the wheel so that question is irrelevant</div><div class="MsoNormal">- It depends where you are and what the chances of being pulled over are</div><div class="MsoNormal">- They never pull you over so what’s the point of worrying</div><div class="MsoNormal">- You never really think about it/Everybody does it man! </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Q - Countries outside of the USA are:</div><div class="MsoNormal">- dangerous</div><div class="MsoNormal">- invasion fodder</div><div class="MsoNormal">- irrelevant</div><div class="MsoNormal">- all of the above</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Courier New"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";">Got something you want us to address? E-mail your suggestion to:<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Courier New"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";">MHMail55-MT AT Yahoo.com<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Courier New"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";">or just pop it into the comment box.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
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</div>Expat mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17798190669591053390noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1374269644093476975.post-76552666744470692162011-09-18T17:08:00.002+01:002011-09-18T19:42:52.064+01:00Driving us Bonkers<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><span style="color: #262626;">Mike's been on a mini-break, which inevitably involves driving, which inevitably brings on a mini rant:</span></i> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="color: #262626;"><b>Mike:</b></span><span style="color: #262626;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Generally, when I drive around Britain—unless I am in a location I know intimately—I am accompanied by the vague, yet persistent feeling, that I am lost. This, generally, is because I am. And the reason is the road marking.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="color: #262626; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Driving in Britain is always more difficult than in the US, because they don’t automatically assume you’re a moron here. In the US, signs are everywhere: US 9 North, turn lane only, US 9 North next junction, Right Lane for County Route 25 Only, US 9 North use Left Lane only, US 9 North Turn here, This is County Route 25 East, You Missed the US 9 North turn you idiot, Denny’s 3 miles. However, I think the Ministry of Traffic Signs is giving the public in general, and me in particular, a lot more credit than we deserve; when I am driving on unfamiliar roads in an unexplored part of the country, I appreciate being treated like a moron.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="color: #262626; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The absence of this forest of signs makes the scenery in Britain undeniably more fetching, but it also means I am continually lost. Never mind that I often get one chance to notice and react to a sign in order to get on the road I want, often, those signs are painted on the road surface, which makes reading them in bumper-to-bumper traffic difficult.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="color: #262626; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I wish I had a tuppence for every time I have been driving happily down a road only to find I am suddenly in a turn-only lane and diverted off into an industrial estate. Even when I do manage to get into the correct lane on a round-about, I frequently find it swapped out from beneath me: I may have entered the round-about in the A449 lane but I then find myself on the M3 heading for London and I have no idea how.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="color: #262626; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Now I am the last person to suggest we should clutter up England’s green and pleasant land with road signs, but a hint of where I am and where I am heading now and again would really be appreciated. Or at least stop diverting me into industrial estates. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
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</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEvamkgLoMNpfMnXaKmUBOM1T8cIptn177ZQG3I3vzTNbRTLX1GA_J3x8Plf7PIo0pD8tHNW2s0hC9nPMFrzWlnMfRQJOhQcf8JC3yJX6jJmxVumfaF9ncMViMfLFUHDW-IQ4dIqWMcmo/s1600/signage.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEvamkgLoMNpfMnXaKmUBOM1T8cIptn177ZQG3I3vzTNbRTLX1GA_J3x8Plf7PIo0pD8tHNW2s0hC9nPMFrzWlnMfRQJOhQcf8JC3yJX6jJmxVumfaF9ncMViMfLFUHDW-IQ4dIqWMcmo/s320/signage.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>Toni:</b><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I have to disagree with Mike about the simplicity of signage in the States. Yes, there are tons and tons of road signs, but they don't exactly make navigation any easier. Take Chicago for instance; if I want to drive to a northern suburb, I need to know the names of the roads in that suburb. The signs on the freeway never actually tell you that you're approaching Winnetka, ( a northern suburb) just that the next exit is Willow (Road) or Lake. So unlike driving around London, with its helpful signs for Balham, Clapham or Stoke Newington, all we get are street names. Oh yes, and the freeways themselves tend to have two nomenclatures - a number and a name. I-90 (Interstate 90) in Chicago for example, is also known as the Kennedy. I-94 is the Edens. We also have the Ike and the Dan Ryan but I can never remember what their numbers are. It's as if everyone's in on a secret as far as roads are concerned.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Even more confusing is the fact that you’re setting off to drive 20 miles south of Chicago, but the road you follow is actually saying “Memphis”, which is a tad further than you need by about 7 hours. Again, no mention of the suburb of your choice. You will however, be totally confused by the amount of signs hanging from every bridge across the freeways. By the time you’ve found the one you want, you’ve missed it and the next exit is 25 miles away.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">And I’m not the only one who thinks this – read <a href="http://jalopnik.com/5044869/americas-10-most-confusing-traffic-signs">this hilarious article </a>about America's worst road signs.</span><o:p></o:p></div>Expat mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17798190669591053390noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1374269644093476975.post-90041566143710166722011-09-14T14:39:00.029+01:002011-09-14T21:12:28.632+01:00MidWeek Mention - How Americans See ThemselvesJust thought you'd love this map. We found it on an interesting blog called <a href="http://thequietrage.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">The Quiet Rage</a>.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">It's called - "How Americans See Themselves".<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtGVMVUABPNMrlh_RlWqkiPE5x4PFsCLUAO4o_FoiFgug88ILeFfSgGWg1ztBMSltIt0rAyu76fJcbmgtK0s8TIU83i72GynBC6K_OiDffFRDeR0wfxI9dNygOBd3wgo-KiyMn2UgSwp8/s1600-h/usa.png" target="_blank"><img border="0" height="216" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBafOr0o42XuIO9ReQkw3HNcuFuLGlbMEXDGk_HUh-0F41Hct19rYvx-XyYqAkFrFiXnNNzhfhw62kNvfREKnJYDneWvhdEw43EQlqZMgFfWdfr9RqFAaPQubRqTqZX4LSV-2x0aq372MK/s320/usa1.png" width="320" /></a></div>Click map for larger image.</div>Expat mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17798190669591053390noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1374269644093476975.post-82534756562187586312011-09-11T10:10:00.000+01:002011-09-11T10:10:12.468+01:00Looking Back<i>Patriot's Day. Ten years on. Our remembrances.</i><br />
<br />
<br />
<b>Toni:</b><br />
<br />
9/11, as it’s now known, was a chilling and terrible day in the USA. I knew immediately that the first plane to hit the Towers could not have been accidental. Not a plane that size. Perhaps that’s because I lived and worked in London in the 80’s where the streets were cordoned off on a weekly basis, and every time your tube train stopped in a black tunnel, there was instant unease all around. I knew terrorism when I saw it. Part of the horror in the US was the utter disbelief that anyone could do so much harm to so many people - deliberately.<br />
<br />
My heart bleeds for the families of everyone who died on that awful day ten years ago.<br />
And yes, the country came together under the leadership of George Bush. I’ll never forget his message – “And we will pursue nations that provide aid or safe haven to terrorism. Every nation in every region now has a decision to make: Either you are with us, or you are with the terrorists.” <br />
<br />
I’ll be honest, I was really pissed off with those words! This from the country that had not only embraced the IRA, but Noraid, its US funding arm, was a registered charity in the USA. Bush declared the beginning of the “war on terror” as if Baader Meinhof, ETA, the UDA and the IRA (to name but a few) had never existed. America’s “war on terror” immediately became a global call to arms.<br />
<br />
I’m sure it was thoughtlessness on the part of George Bush but on behalf of everyone who’d ever lived in the shadow of terrorism, I was insulted.<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>Mike:</b><br />
<br />
I was on-line booking a flight when news of the first airplane hitting the towers popped up. It caused concern, but not much; I had read accounts of the airplane that had hit the Empire State Building, and I assumed this was something similar—an inexperienced pilot in a small aircraft. The Empire State Building had survived, so would the tower.<br />
<br />
Still, a disquiet grew inside me. I abandoned the transaction (and never went back to it—I decided to drive) and waited. For what, I didn’t know. For the Doctor to come back with the results saying it isn’t cancer after all? For the news that a loved one who had been in an accident was, in fact, all right? I suppose I was waiting, anticipating that most American of results: don’t worry; everything is going to be all right.<br />
<br />
But it wasn’t. As more news filtered in it became clear the damage was extensive and that many people had died, or were about to. Then the second plane hit and I—along with many other Americas—finally accepted the fact that this was not a horrific catastrophe, but an organized attack, and that the future was suddenly a very different, and scarier, place.<br />
<br />
I watched the towers fall with my co-workers, watched their tears, felt the emptiness inside, sat at my desk, numb. When we were sent home I drove through eerily empty streets and arrived home to more horrific news.<br />
<br />
In the days that followed, I would sit on my balcony, watching in the distance where airliners used to crease the sky with jet trails as they landed or took off from Albany airport. But the sky remained empty, a vacant reminder of the tragedy. For days, I saw nothing, then a single plane took off, and I wondered if things were, at last, beginning to get back to normal.<br />
<br />
The plane flew fast, much faster than a commercial jet. It rose sharply, made a series of tight circles in the sky, then landed. It was, I realized , a military fighter jet, and I wondered, if this was the new reality.<br />
<br />
But that’s just my story; there are billions of others.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj73r0yQiCoqsCeUQJ1et86l_rgnxjiEJpP_CGDF1dnmXfplr57VE_xvc3iqtABjHjUVii_ZgdT3BG2x-tOB98M2icCnBBA_gfy-IvkRN8dzuxj-XyrleC6_yErt9J-i03MdBuw2qnpdjvQ/s1600/911.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="241" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj73r0yQiCoqsCeUQJ1et86l_rgnxjiEJpP_CGDF1dnmXfplr57VE_xvc3iqtABjHjUVii_ZgdT3BG2x-tOB98M2icCnBBA_gfy-IvkRN8dzuxj-XyrleC6_yErt9J-i03MdBuw2qnpdjvQ/s320/911.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>MikeHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01530099708429116393noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1374269644093476975.post-8193622571319511222011-09-04T13:19:00.000+01:002011-09-04T13:19:02.228+01:00Yay - Back to School Time<i>Despite the fact that two of Toni's kids still aren't back at school, we're discussing it anyway:</i><br />
<br />
<b>Toni:</b><br />
<br />
Unlike many parents, I half dread back to school time. Well, not the getting-rid-of-the-kids part, but the school supply list. I'm not sure whether it's just our school but I have to supply everything—pens, pencils, lined paper, glue sticks, binders. I really don't remember having to obtain all this when I was at little school. What is the world coming to?<br />
<br />
Being foreign, the school supply list poses quite a few problems for me. I remember some years back when "Trapper-keeper" appeared on the Queenager's list.<br />
<br />
"Is that for your science lessons?" I asked, imagining something to, well, trap things in. Unfortunately she didn't know, so I had to resort to Plan B: go and stand in Office Depot (that's Deepo, BTW) and look for a big sign saying "Trapper Keepers This Way". And then Plan C: listen for other people saying "Where are the Trapper Keepers?" and fall in line behind them. Lady Luck wasn't smiling on me that day, so I put on my very best English accent and asked the assistant, who kindly led me to an aisle full of…binders, basically.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYTXU0o0oKgsIjihKipdgHplGIw8lySkcA1UdmH4rIASZvjoj64UJo0m6esmu8Hh-H0YbzvPZ6EuRtcdv0et675djiZ1owE0_f9eewJ7SgxZlxDSUgkn_cze_XnxcWA_6M2sGASRsz3_A/s1600/trapper+keeper.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="198" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYTXU0o0oKgsIjihKipdgHplGIw8lySkcA1UdmH4rIASZvjoj64UJo0m6esmu8Hh-H0YbzvPZ6EuRtcdv0et675djiZ1owE0_f9eewJ7SgxZlxDSUgkn_cze_XnxcWA_6M2sGASRsz3_A/s200/trapper+keeper.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>Here it is in all its glory: a binder with a zip and a handle. Talk about being underwhelmed, but at least we got it crossed off the list.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
And the next item? "College ruled" note paper. Oh for Pete's sake, what's that when it's at home? I need a translator.<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>Mike:</b><br />
<br />
It’s always interesting when back to school time rolls around here, as I get to see what British parents have to do to prepare their offspring for the new semester. <br />
<br />
The biggest rituals, as far as I can see, is the buying of the school uniforms followed closely by the trek to Clark’s for inexpensive, sensible shoes. Buying a school uniform is the ritual, of course, most foreign to me. Uniforms were unheard of in my world, unless you went to The Christian Brother’s Academy. Here, most children wear them, as because the blazers are expensive, they are generally bought with a “they will grow into them” thought in mind, leading to children starting their first year of school with their blazer sleeves hanging down to past their knees.<br />
<br />
When we walk by the Clark’s shoe store this time of year, the scrum inside is reminiscent of the Next sales, only with mothers and young children instead of trendy women. They also institute a deli-style “pick a number and wait your turn” type of shopping in a valiant, though vain, attempt to maintain order.<br />
<br />
One of the most interesting things I heard about British schools, came from my barber. He daughter is starting school this year, and is going to something called a Cashless School. She has an account to log into, top up with electronic cash as she sees fit, and her daughter can buy what she needs at the school lunch room. To pay, the young girl (she’s five years old) presses her thumb on a scanner. This means there is no lost lunch money, no extortion by older kids, no hold-up of the lunch queue while the dinner-ladies make change, etc.<br />
<br />
It would have been nice to have had something like this when I went to school. Imagine being able to go through the lunch line, selecting what I wanted and then, when I reached the end of the line, being grabbed by the big kid in front of me and having my hand slammed down on the scanner so his lunch would be charged to my account.<br />
<br />
Technology can only carry us so far.Expat mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17798190669591053390noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1374269644093476975.post-61803060345734488882011-08-28T16:18:00.000+01:002011-08-28T16:18:36.626+01:00Danger - American Weather!<i>We couldn't resist the urge to talk about American weather, given what's been going on on the Eastern Seaboard:</i><br />
<i><br />
</i><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9NWbuS7zWmr8JFtGXsJK1FRVH7ZaVpqe6WitEkVreOKUujjNYWuKVmEC-iu9iYqgEw_2M89e5HpljkOAsteSvDeUCOrfNrwbbN98yf5lRLM6mM_LSFcCUmXT-7_ypRruZB40t5jQQnGw/s1600/USA+map.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="218" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9NWbuS7zWmr8JFtGXsJK1FRVH7ZaVpqe6WitEkVreOKUujjNYWuKVmEC-iu9iYqgEw_2M89e5HpljkOAsteSvDeUCOrfNrwbbN98yf5lRLM6mM_LSFcCUmXT-7_ypRruZB40t5jQQnGw/s320/USA+map.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 24px;"><u>Toni:</u></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">I’m coming to the conclusion that there’s no great place to live in the USA, weather-wise at least. Think about it. We currently have Hurricane Irene lashing her way up the Eastern Seaboard and it’s not just a heavy storm. This stuff is of near - biblical proportions and there will no doubt be a lot of damage and destruction. Although this is the first hurricane to affect so much of the Atlantic coast line, it’s not unusual for the lower states (Florida and the Carolina’s) to experience hurricane weather.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">As you travel into the Heartland (the middle of the country) you have frigid winters in the northern states, (where the temperatures plummet to below freezing for months and months), and sweltering heat in the southern states. Oh, and there’s Tornado Alley running vertically right through the middle and the <a href="http://www.blogger.com/post-create.g?blogID=1374269644093476975#http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Madrid_Seismic_Zone">New Madrid Seismic Zone</a> from Illinois on down. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">Out west, they’ve convinced themselves that California has the best climate but they’re all sitting on <a href="http://www.blogger.com/post-create.g?blogID=1374269644093476975#http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/San_Andreas_Fault">the San Andreas</a> fault line, aren’t they? Not to mention the desserts in the southwest where many a lost soul has parched to death. If you like your ‘seasons’, San Francisco and San Diego apparently have the least variety in weather in the country. California is also prey to wildfires and mudslides, so not as attractive as one might think. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">It’s quite amazing that so many people have made their homes here.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-no-proof: yes;"><v:shapetype coordsize="21600,21600" filled="f" id="_x0000_t75" o:preferrelative="t" o:spt="75" path="m@4@5l@4@11@9@11@9@5xe" stroked="f"> <v:stroke joinstyle="miter"> <v:formulas> <v:f eqn="if lineDrawn pixelLineWidth 0"> <v:f eqn="sum @0 1 0"> <v:f eqn="sum 0 0 @1"> <v:f eqn="prod @2 1 2"> <v:f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelWidth"> <v:f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelHeight"> <v:f eqn="sum @0 0 1"> <v:f eqn="prod @6 1 2"> <v:f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelWidth"> <v:f eqn="sum @8 21600 0"> <v:f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelHeight"> <v:f eqn="sum @10 21600 0"> </v:f></v:f></v:f></v:f></v:f></v:f></v:f></v:f></v:f></v:f></v:f></v:f></v:formulas> <v:path gradientshapeok="t" o:connecttype="rect" o:extrusionok="f"> <o:lock aspectratio="t" v:ext="edit"> </o:lock></v:path></v:stroke></v:shapetype><v:shape id="Picture_x0020_1" o:spid="_x0000_i1025" style="height: 131pt; mso-wrap-style: square; visibility: visible; width: 192pt;" type="#_x0000_t75"> <v:imagedata o:title="" src="file://localhost/Users/tonihargis/Library/Caches/TemporaryItems/msoclip/0/clip_image001.jpg"> </v:imagedata></v:shape></span><span lang="EN-GB"><o:p></o:p></span></div></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><u>Mike:</u></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">When I first moved to the UK, I had the idea that I was getting the short end of the weather stick—having fallen prey to the popular myth concerning the awfulness of British weather.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">It did not take me very long to realize I had hit the climate jackpot, however.</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Over the years, I have made much of the weather differences between here and home, so I won’t go into that again, instead I will simply agree with Toni that, in much of America, for much of the year, merely being outside is lethal, whereas in the UK, it generally is not.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">When I visited Phoenix during July many years ago (if there was ever a city with no reason for existence, it is Phoenix; it’s in the middle of a desert, for chissake, and it was founded before they had air conditioning), I and some friends (also from New York) decided to take a walk after lunch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our hosts told us we could not go out without shoes as the pavement would burn our feet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We took their advice and ended up walking from shop to shop down the street because we found we could not tolerate being without air conditioning for more than four minutes at a time, which is three minutes longer than you can tolerate being without central heating in Minnesota during January.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The idea that you can die from just being outside is a foreign concept to most of the people I know here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In America—pick a section of that vast land, any section—and it is a common occurrence.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You generally won’t find “Being Outside” listed as the cause of death on the death certificate—that will be something more specific like, hypothermia, terminal sunburn, washed away in a flash flood, sucked up into a funnel cloud and not seen since, disappeared in a snow bank or ground opened up and swallowed him—but the common root of all these outcomes is, Being Outside.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I would not be surprised to overhear the following conversation in any <span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">Dunkin</span>' </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">Donuts, Starbucks or Denny’s in any part the country at any given time of the year:</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">“What happened to Bob?”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 150%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 150%;">“Oh, didn’t you hear?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He went outside!”</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 150%;"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 150%;">So, you in America, stay inside.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 150%;"><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 150%;">Especially if you live on the East Coast.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 150%;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 24px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 150%;"><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 150%;"><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-style: italic; line-height: 150%; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Courier New"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";">Got something you want us to address? E-mail your suggestion to:<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-style: italic; line-height: 150%; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Courier New"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";">MHMail55-MT AT Yahoo.com<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-style: italic; line-height: 150%; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Courier New"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";">or just pop it into the comment box.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-style: italic; line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-style: italic; line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><!--EndFragment-->Expat mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17798190669591053390noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1374269644093476975.post-30459550243913314082011-08-21T17:08:00.000+01:002011-08-21T17:08:09.419+01:00Show Me the Money <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:DocumentProperties> <o:Revision>0</o:Revision> <o:TotalTime>0</o:TotalTime> <o:Pages>1</o:Pages> <o:Words>733</o:Words> <o:Characters>4184</o:Characters> <o:Company>self</o:Company> <o:Lines>34</o:Lines> <o:Paragraphs>9</o:Paragraphs> <o:CharactersWithSpaces>4908</o:CharactersWithSpaces> <o:Version>14.0</o:Version> </o:DocumentProperties> <o:OfficeDocumentSettings> <o:RelyOnVML/> <o:AllowPNG/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--> <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>JA</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/> <w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/> <w:OverrideTableStyleHps/> </w:Compatibility> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; mso-outline-level: 1;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">Show Me the Money</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB"><o:p><i>This week we're contemplating a dangerous trend that's crossed the Pond:</i></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB"><o:p><i><br />
</i></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB"><u>Toni:</u><b><o:p></o:p></b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">After last week’s horrific stage collapse at the <a href="http://www.suntimes.com/news/nation/7059454-418/4-dead-after-indiana-state-fair-stage-collapses.html">Indiana State Fair (</a>which killed 6 people), the first of the lawsuits is already in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Janeen Beth Urschel lost her partner Tammy Van Dam and has hired a lawyer, claiming that more should have been done to get audience members to safety. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">Since Indiana state can’t be sued for more than $5 million, the claim is against several companies believed responsible; a claim of $50 million is being sought on behalf of the deceased’s 17 year old daughter, and $10 million in punitive damages for her partner, Urshcel, who says her “emotional pain is indescribable.”<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">While most would not argue against a claim by the daughter, many balk at the amount. Fifty million? In my day, such claims were calculated based on the future earnings of the deceased. I know the cost of attending college here is ridiculous, but even with inflation factored in, it’s not going to cost $50 million. And ten million in punitive damages for her 49 year old partner, (who will first have to challenge Indiana State law barring life partners from recovering damages in wrongful death claims)? Seriously?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">Yes, the pain of losing someone is hard to describe, but will ten million bucks ease that pain? And what the heck do people mean by “punitive damages” anyway. I know, I know. It’s intended to punish rather than compensate, but again - ten million? Really?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">I also know that the numbers have to be initially high because those poor <strike>ambulance chasers </strike>lawyers need to take their cut, but does this strike anyone else as a tad greedy?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB"><u>Mike:</u><b><o:p></o:p></b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">One of the things that really used to frost me*when I lived in America was the way we would sue at the drop of a hat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I’m sure that, somewhere, someone probably did try to sue someone for dropping a hat, perhaps because it resulted in <a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_658395686">severe cocklaphobia.</a><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><a href="http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_is_the_phobia_name_for_fear_of_hats"> </a> </span>(No, I am Not making that up.)</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">To my mind, litigationphilia (yes, I DID make that up) was something ugly and detestable that slithered into our national psyche when we weren’t paying attention.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Before we knew it, it had bludgeoned Rugged Individualism senseless, trussed him up and tossed him in the basement with his old friend Common Sense.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Suddenly, no matter what mishap befell anyone, someone ELSE was at fault and they MUST PAY.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Dearly.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">I went out with a woman (for a, thankfully, short time) who told me that the only way to get rich in America was to inherit, win the lottery or sue someone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Really?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What happened to the Protestant Work Ethic, and exploiting the masses?)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not having much hope of the first two, she was actively pursuing the final option against an unfortunate woman who had bumped her car from behind at a traffic light.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At the lawyer visit I accompanied her to, I heard tales of whiplash, pain and suffering, unspecified fears and debilitation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Her litany of agony caused the lawyer’s eyes to glow with dollar signs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Never mind that all of it was rubbish.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">This belief—that hurting yourself was the ticket to untold riches—had the effect of practically wiping out things like church picnics, town fairs and the like due to the rising probability that someone might stub their toe and sue the pants off of the organizers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I found that very sad.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">It was a relief, therefore, when that attitude did not appear to be as prevalent over here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sure, there was the odd frivolous lawsuit, but for the most part, people seemed content with the idea that they were responsible for their own actions, and their consequences.**<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">However, over the years, the Health and Safety laws (and legends) have done a fair job of producing similar results without the help of pesky lawsuits.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Instead of becoming a litigious society, we have become a “risk adverse” society, where every action—no matter how benign—is subject to scrutiny.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This has led to the cancellation of pancake races, forbidding the childhood game of “Conkers” and the abolishing long-standing traditions, such as The <a href="http://www.cheese-rolling.co.uk/2011_event_cancelled.htm">Annual Gloucestershire Cheese Rolling Competition.</a></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">Organizations, large and small, can find their plans for a benefit concert, church fete or company picnic stopped cold by those three little words: “Health and Safety.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you do this, someone might get hurt, and we can’t have that, can we?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">Different attitude, but the same result.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I find that very sad.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">* Another thing that used to frost me was spending the night in a walk-in freezer, but that’s another story.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">** That said, there is an appalling sense of entitlement developing within the younger generation but, that too, is another story.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB"><o:p><br />
</o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-GB"><o:p> </o:p></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New';">Got something you want us to address? E-mail your suggestion to:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Courier New"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";">MHMail55-MT AT Yahoo.com<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Courier New"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";">or just pop it into the comment box.<o:p></o:p></span></div><!--EndFragment-->Expat mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17798190669591053390noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1374269644093476975.post-70791164245109678752011-08-13T16:45:00.000+01:002011-08-13T16:45:00.480+01:00The London Riots: Is Revenge a Good Idea?<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; mso-outline-level: 1;"><i><span>Is evicting convicted rioters from council housing and revoking their benefits really a good idea?</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><b><span lang="EN-GB">Toni:<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span>There’s talk of stripping benefits from anyone found guilty of the looting and rioting in England last week. <span> </span>Given that most of the feckless individuals were too busy stealing Sony TVs and designer jeans to even care about larger societal matters, few of us probably have any initial objections to this suggestion.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span>It’s not quite as easy as that though. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span>From the photos that have been circulated, a lot of these thugs weren’t even teenagers at all. <span> </span>If they’re older and on benefits, they might well have dependent children. <span> </span>What happens to them? <span> </span>These kids aren’t exactly born with a silver spoon in their mouths as it is. <span> </span>Should the sins of their fathers be visited on them? <span> </span>If you’re of a mind that the kids shouldn’t be punished for their fathers’ crimes, it means they the government has to find another way of supporting them.<span> </span>That, in turn, means a whole new layer of bureaucracy to fund.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span>Plus, think about it, removing benefits, especially in the form of housing, will simply result in hundreds more homeless people on the streets. While they won’t then be living off taxpayer money, it’s not exactly the result England needs is it?<a href="" name="_GoBack"></a><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span>Removing benefits is a knee jerk reaction to a horrific recent event, but in its simplest form, that’s probably not the answer.<span> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span><span><br />
</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUio7r3kXJpn5Mx_1Tdmxng073UuabCSYTIqE3HcGmaK2QA_qW57FnId_JTpuPdTTAE27nBQQnXMAumhKveaAEAJ6Gd48BieyPazooBJTgq7WHabRQX-U-wGv1zBDyVWNx62917M2SdaWg/s1600/Riots.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="192" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUio7r3kXJpn5Mx_1Tdmxng073UuabCSYTIqE3HcGmaK2QA_qW57FnId_JTpuPdTTAE27nBQQnXMAumhKveaAEAJ6Gd48BieyPazooBJTgq7WHabRQX-U-wGv1zBDyVWNx62917M2SdaWg/s320/Riots.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span><span><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><b><span lang="EN-GB">Mike:<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">Oddly enough, I am taking the liberal view precisely because I am not a liberal.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">Simply put: turfing these people out and taking away their benefits sounds satisfying, but it is revenge pure and simple.<span> </span>And revenge is never a good idea.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">It is also totally unnecessary: there are laws on the books (and have been for hundreds of years) to handle assault, vandalism, robbery and murder—use them!<span> </span></span><span lang="EN-GB">On the numerous “Cops With Camera” shows , we see criminals captured after:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"></div><ul><li>smashing shop windows</li>
<li>looting stores</li>
<li>assaulting people</li>
<li>leading police on wild, destructive and dangerous car cases</li>
</ul><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">but, as the program wraps up, we find that they were given a two-week suspended sentence and 2 point on their license.<span> </span>(This is the sort of thing that makes me start shouting at the telly.)<span> </span>Why weren’t these people locked up?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">I’ll tell you why (soapbox level 3): the same hand-wringing do-gooders who are now whining about “disenfranchised youth” and our “broken society” are the same people who have been—for the last twenty years—systematically stripping police of their powers and blocking courts from handing out just punishments.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">So why did these people destroy property, loot stores and assault passersby?<span> </span>Because they have been taught that it is acceptable behaviour.<span> </span>They have been doing it for years and have never received anything more than a slap on the wrist, so why would they hesitate to join in?<span> </span>(/soapbox level 3)</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">And taking their housing away?<span> </span>No surprise that this was the first revenge tactic the MP’s thought up; after all, when they were caught looting the public, the punishment they suffered was having to pay for their second homes themselves.<span> </span>So being revealed as a common thief relates—in their minds—to having your housing benefits taken away, and it’s too bad that they are unable to think any further ahead than that, because when they start throwing innocent people onto the streets along with the guilty, I am afraid the politicians, and the people hounding them for revenge, are going to be the ones looking like the villains.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div>MikeHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01530099708429116393noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1374269644093476975.post-42857957864411640962011-08-07T14:40:00.004+01:002011-08-07T14:52:06.419+01:00Child-like Wonder?<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">We came across this quote from Bill Bryson, and it got us thinking.....</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-GB">"I can't think of anything that excites a greater sense of childlike wonder than to be in a country where you are ignorant of almost everything." <o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-GB">Toni:<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">Having just spent a week in Ghana, where almost everything was brand new, I'm not sure I experienced "childlike wonder", but it was definitely interesting. Not being a serial expat (one who moves around the globe a lot), I had forgotten how mentally exhausting it can be to not have a clue what you're doing most of the time. The simple task of trying to remember not to use my left hand for waving to people, accepting anything that was given me, and obviously for eating, was a challenge, made worse because I knew how offensive using the left hand is out there. It wasn't even something I could laugh off.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">For me, the child like wonder comes in when I return to England each year and experience new developments, many of which haven't reached the States yet. The hand-held credit card processor that is used in most UK restaurants still almost makes me applaud in appreciation. No fears about your credit card disappearing off to be copied by some ne'er do well in the kitchens. (BTW I am also still appalled at the lack of cross-checking that's done when you proffer a credit card in the USA. They usually return your card to you before you've signed everything. I quite often use my husband's, sign it with my name and nothing is said. How do they know I'm not a crazed ex-wife who is spending every unearned penny he has?)</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">I also often wonder at the reverse - things that still don't happen in the UK. Like petrol/gas stations that allow you to pay at the pump instead of having to go into the little shop (past all those irresistible goodies) and pay the sales assistant. Mind you, given the relatively mild climate in the UK, there's little danger of getting hyperthermia just by crossing the forecourt in the winter.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">One thing I notice that's now all the rage on either side of the Pond, and equally as annoying on both sides, is the self check-out. Grrr. No matter how carefully I place items into the shopping bag, the bloody woman starts shouting at me, stops the entire procedure and tells me to wait for a sales assistant. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">The only child-like emotion I experience at that point is the urge to lie on the floor and throw a gigantic tantrum!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-GB">Mike:<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">Unlike Toni, I have never visited a truly exotic country.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All of my explorations have taken place in Europe, which, these days, hardly qualifies as exotic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, like Toni, most of my child-like wonder results from visiting my home country and encountering customs—both old and new—that make me scratch my head and wonder.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">The anachronism that is a dollar bill, the quaintness of having to sign for a credit card purchase (coupled with the unease of seeing my card disappear into the back room with a total stranger) and the “this would never happen in MY country” outrage of having to pay a fee to the bank every time I wanted access to my own money.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">The wasteland that commercialisation make of huge swaths of the landscape, the direness of cable television and the seeming addiction of the population to sugar and salt evidenced by the vast amounts of either (or both) ingredient in every consumable item also leave me wondering.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I also find myself hesitating when attempting to order certain item like a griddled egg or white coffee, knowing that this would likely confuse my waiter.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN-GB">All of this inevitably leads me to the realization that, if I hadn’t moved to another country, I would still consider this normal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, as an American, I would view this behavior, not only as the correct way things should be done, but as the only way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That insight, however, is generally followed by acceptance of that once-familiar phenomenon known as the American way of life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And then, like becoming reacquainted with an old friend whose company you enjoy despite their flaws and peccadilloes, I settle back into the comforting routine and the wonder becomes the fact that I found it so foreign in the first place.</span></div>Expat mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17798190669591053390noreply@blogger.com3